Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this Swedish girl I'd met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if I could ejaculate on her face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
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Top comments
Loony_fml 4
This is the oldest trick in the book. You should know better than to trust any friend to translate stuff for you to impress a girl. You deserved it.
tukker 0
Gott lära av andras fel, eftersom man inte hinner begå alla själv.
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Comments (142)
abcdefg11233 0
he totally screwed you! lol
darkmis1 18
One of the funniest FMLs I've ever read!
pancakelover 0
Oh my god! What a prude this girl is... I would have totally taken that as a compliment! Crazy Swedes!
mischief8 0
It's not that hard to use an online translator to double check...
lizzzie_fml 0
ydi - why not find out what it is you're saying before you say it! Idiot.
McLaughlane 0
Well, hopefully you got the chance to explain that your friend pranked you and you didn't mean to say anything offensive, lol. That sucks, your friend is a jerk.
Fredzter 0
Liesss... We are very loveable
koneko12984 0
and this is why you don't trust someone to tell you what to say when you don't personally know the language. i say you were asking for it.
forgotmyabcs 1
Or you google translate it.
LesYeuxDeDario 0
That's why you should trust others ^ ^ ~
soccergirl37 0
He decided to actually trust his friend. I know when my friends tell me something I don't feel the need to look it up online to verify it. Dolts.