Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this Swedish girl I'd met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if I could ejaculate on her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Loony_fml 4
This is the oldest trick in the book. You should know better than to trust any friend to translate stuff for you to impress a girl. You deserved it.
tukker 0
Gott lära av andras fel, eftersom man inte hinner begå alla själv.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
MusicAddict321 0
How does everyone know how to speak swedish? 0_o Am I the only one who only speaks english? :(
sensual_kidney 0
I concur. Beat him til he bleeds
tukker 0
ja ja
fyrtiosexarton 12
I think most scandinavians reacted to this since it is close-to-home or whatever, and 90% decided to post something in swedish/norwegian/danish just because they could ^^
hellFighter 0
You're friend's a bitch. Kick his ass.
LabelMeNot 0
I would so want to go out with a guy who said that to me
platypuscatrat 0
YDI for not being a sexy swede like myself.
AquaLovePain 0
Gutted man
yourmumzaman 0
lol everyones just using google translator to try and sound cool...pitiful...pitiful
tukker 0
rövhål
fyrtiosexarton 12
everyone is using google translator. or speaking swedish fluently, like me.
Qauzzix 0
This is a total YDI. Probably only people with English as their first language don't do it, since most often they cant. As some have already said, it's the oldest trick in the book. I have myself often done this, most of my friends have done this. I'm Icelandic and this is one of the perks about no one understanding your native tongue.
Lucy13_fml 0
Så synd om dig men du borde ve ta att kontrollera. Men ändå... Hur pinsamt.
davek 36
I will not buy this record... it is scratched. Do you waaaaaaant to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
girlthatgoesugh 0
Hehe great Monty Python reference!! Love this FML