Today, it was my first day working for a real estate company. Just when I got into my car, my pants ripped from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants, a split that was three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I got all the way until after lunch before I realized my new pants were basically leggings, and that you could see my pink thong through them. I was in a training with a bunch of the guys that work the production floor, and I’m pretty sure they noticed. FML
Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML
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Top comments
LordOfTheHobos 0
I agree with #12
tevzor 0
Well, that's one way to open house.
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Comments (150)
JoseCuervo 0
Who were you going to show? You didn't mention anyone in particular. You have bad grammar.
QueenOfMelodrama 0
I'm torn. (No pun intended.) Sucks that your pants ripped. You totally deserve it for wearing a thong, though. You can't complain about that making it worse because that was totally your choice.
theycallmecarl 0
i assume he bought the house.
DBJ740 0
How about wearing pants that fit?
christopherlove 0
I must insist upon hearing the rest of the story!
00754chan 0
that's an 'open house', alright ;)
rustyrox 0
time to get healthy and loose some weight! probably a better pair of pants to... Mashalls!!
huggielious 0
ahaha funny!
plexico 4
I played this as an April Fools' joke on my wife this year! I told her my pants ripped and she needed to drive a new pair all the way out to my office since I could not get up from my desk without committing indecent exposure. She was getting ready to do it when I added that she needed to bring me underpants, since I also forgot to wear any that day.
plexico 4
The buyer's feedback: I appreciate our agent's candor, she made us very familiar with the property. I got to know the ins and out of the place. This property has potential, but to seal the deal, the owner is going to have to trim the bushes! ;)
JakeMeeks 0
#103 LMAO! nice work ;)