Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
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Top comments
sallen0046 4
Why would you spend a "long day at work" in the summer and not bathe before you get your boyfriend to shove his face into your stank ******? Common sense, lady.
lionandthelamb61 9
gross, it's called showering
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Comments (134)
DjeePee 25
Sad. There goes the mood and your self-esteem. But at least he's honest and dares to communicate about non-pleasant things. Still, it's sad.
xgetxbentx 13
ydi for not keeping yourself fresh and clean down there. I really hope you went home and cleaned your vag...
sevans 0
that's your fault. you should keep yourself clean regardless of what your other half says stop being a baby and take a bath
JordynnLOL 11
LOL dirty *****. :)
usmcbunny 0
Next time he asks for head, complain about the smell of his dick. A boyfriend did that to me, once, and I constantly berated him about the smell of his penis. Sure, I was being honest, but I'd never brought it up before, so it was especially insulting. I'd make him shower before sex, and five minutes after he'd gotten out of the shower, I'd complain that his penis smelled disgusting. Now, with my girlfriend, I tell her that her ****** always smells fine/wonderful, except when she has her period. In which case, proper measures are to buy nose plugs, scream, and run.
chindelfin 0
hahaha!! funny shxt!
Kanvis78 0
YDI for wiping back to front
kile88 2
yuck fuken shower before you do anything you dirty little mole
Andygk15 3
lool funny
myworld99 0
you're disgusting.