Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after ignoring me for about a week, my boyfriend finally broke up with me. Why? He discovered that I use prescription deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I can stop using makeup, because it's "not working." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
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Top comments
palmtrees 1
If he's really that dumb, be glad you're rid of him. Maybe he was looking for an excuse to break up?
melmcr 0
YDI because you could do so much better than a guy who makes decisions by assumptions only.
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Comments (151)
Elsan_fml 4
Ouch. FYL. Or maybe his, for being that stupid. and maybe YDI for going out with someone like that :P
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Am I the only one calling fake on this? They've been dating 3 years..and he sees baby wipes and thinks there's a kid? If a kid was young enough to need the wipes, it would be his kid. This is such a stupid and fake fml. OP should've said 3 weeks..would've been funnier
thoughtcrimeno1 0
Today, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me cos he caught me making up unlikely stories on fml.com and assumed I was mentally unstable. fml
sircapsalot 0
exactly... it's just too set up
Schiffy 18
Could be true, at least thats the reason (excuse) HE used. The reason the OP deserves the "i agree, your life sucks" is because she was dating a complete idiot, orbecause she was dating a guy that absolutely hated her, and had to use THAT to break up with her.
kaylanicole1255 1
And also Im sure the boyfriends been over her house many times in the last 3 years so how did he NOT see the baby wipes before today? Tottaly fake!
melmcr 0
YDI because you could do so much better than a guy who makes decisions by assumptions only.
StoryOfTheYear 15
exactly, complete dumbass, I would at least ask before throwing away 3 years
me199 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well maybe if you didnt have a kid he wouldn't have broken up with you
CheshireHalli 19
OR, he was just looking for an excuse to break up with her.
imahappeemoocow 0
she didn't have a kid! can't you read???? she uses the baby wipes to take off make up. ppl who "YDI" before reading it properly bug me.
jade77_fml 0
my thoughts exactly!!
me199 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hey dumbass #56 i was kidding. and people who take fml too seriously "properly annoy me"
sterl13 0
no the OP actually uses the wipes to clean up after she masterbates and the guy just walked in and left after she wouldn't let him join
blo0_starZz 0
Maybe he dumped via sticky note? :p
amy397123 0
#56, you're a dumbass.
DonCrank 0
this is fake. if you'd been dating for three years he would've known. stupid ****.
DizzyVulps 0
He assumed she was cheating, fucktard.
tori121 0
I'm really sorry hunny. but I really think he was just using that as a (lame) excuse to break up with you. only a retard would seriously dump his girlfried of over three years because he found baby wipes. maybe you should try and talk to hum about it and see if there is a deeper meaning to all this.
DMD0903_fml 0
ok right because i'm sure that she knew he was like that when she started dating him dumb ass. If life was that easy there would be a lot less break-up's don't ya think? BUT in all fairness you really don't need someone who is that SLOW, if he never saw a kid in the past what would make him think you have one now? """ohh i get it you were hidding the kid in the closet for the past 3 years right?""""
palmtrees 1
If he's really that dumb, be glad you're rid of him. Maybe he was looking for an excuse to break up?
Freeze_fml 17
Yup, their 3 year relationship was completely her fault.
chevygirl_1975 0
get real... how would you not know if some one had a kid after 3 years of dating........FAKE
bridgette5866 0
Wow, if you're dating a guy for three years and he hasn't established you don't have kids, he's a dumbass. FYI, OP, he was probaby looking for an excuse to break up with you and he was too stupid to think of a more probable reason.
xlovelessx 0
I agree with #4
TrekkieGirl 0
I'm thinking he was just looking for an out. Since when are guys that observant anyhow?!?....lol. He saw the wipes and just assumed....yeah right.
HermonieGranger 0
He broke up with you cause he thought he had a kid? Git!
hisbabygurl1 0
wouldn't he know after three years whether or not u had a kid or not?? how do u go that long without ever knowing. he is obviously just using it as an excuse
wolfpackchick10 0
Something seems off about this. Is he really that dumb?? After THREE years...he just now finds something to assume you have a kid... After 3 weeks, that would be understandable...but three YEARS. Something just isn't adding up with that one. I think he might have been looking for a reason to get out of the relationship. If not, he sounds pretty dumb.
RyeBreadBoy 0
My thoughts exactly. I'm pretty sure if OP had a kid he would've met it by now. Therefore, he wouldn't even think that. He'd probably figure someone you know with a kid left them there or something. This FML is fake and idiotic.
BB360 0
I hate posts like these. THEY ARE SO BULLSHIT! There is no way that was the reason. After 3 years he just bolts out of the house and accuses you of having a kid? So FAKE! They should really have people do better screenings of these posts.
StewieBigFan 0
And to wipe your ass. There's no shame in that!
Theo_fml 0
It's not necessarily fake. It's entirely possible that he did it solely to get out of the relationship, as has already been mentionned by many people before you, if you had only taken the time to read a bit before shouting "FAKE FAKE FAKE!!!!!!1111!!" like an idiot.
Arinwyn 0
Completely agree with 37.
babybubz 0
I agree too..
joey112 0
OMG you people really need to get a life-that you couldn't see this is fake? FYL!
unplugged_fml 0
yea... definetly fake...
rOBboCOp 0
wata dumb ex, doesnt even take the time to think, "did i use a condom" or "was she birth control" or some shit like that, or not even takin the time to talk about it