Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
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Top comments
sallen0046 4
Why would you spend a "long day at work" in the summer and not bathe before you get your boyfriend to shove his face into your stank ******? Common sense, lady.
lionandthelamb61 9
gross, it's called showering
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Comments (134)
ilovemunro 0
ew! hahahah wow i wouldd have been tottally embarrased if my bf had told me that..FYL
SChew 6
so do you use it?
iSitt 0
they probably leave a residue that tastes like chemicals. or will irritate her bfs eyes as he rubbed his face there. better to shower instead.
JuliaM1000 10
How fo u know he wasn't talking about eating a taco later instead of burriots?
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
well chemicals taste better than coochie stanks
katplayer 4
YDI. It's called a washcloth and baby shampoo.
glambert1998 0
81,i know right? my sister who im responsable of,showed this to me and said she threw up a little!
Taipan_fml 0
#105, you douche but are skeptical of wipes? Really...?
Buchitoo 4
lmao. YDI.
sjoe789 0
WAT DOES OP MEAN??? HELP???
chaos753159 4
it means orange penguin
josh5634 0
omniponent panda
josh5634 0
damn comment bug. omniponent penguin. DAFP
CLDBL00DED 0
2- i live in yonkers too!!!
zerobahamut03 2
I was gonna say Orange prenguin. as for the op, fyl. good thing I don't have to deal with that.
Buchitoo 4
cool. what part of Yonkers??
Spastastic 6
Optional Puckering.
No_habla_espanol 11
sjoe: original poster
chuk_norris_fml 0
Origami peanuts
skatingalyy 0
optimus prime :)
Cjw1220 0
Omniscient panthers.
ljw1993 0
tmi
lionandthelamb61 9
gross, it's called showering
Sun_Kissed18 25
Yeah, wipes can not take the place of a nice long shower. Your boyfriend will thank you.
xxxbooxxx 16
:/ I hate when people take compliments back.. rawr
anorexicbarbie 8
I hate stupid people.. rawr
OwNowBrownCow 0
I hate people.. rawr
Arsonnist 3
I hate.. rawr
ruby84 1
!
A_50cal_goes 0
.
WYITO 0
...
dodgewama 0
xxxbooxxx 16
WTF?!? I said rawr so it would post.. don't diss me.
rawrawsum 0
cutee pic spongebob!!
gooBUZZ 0
Haha these posts actually made me laugh.
CiaranPM 0
The hell is a feminine wipe? Damn women and their beauty crap...
ilovemunro 0
#7 hahah wow..its sumthing girls use to clean themselves downderr i guess to b cleann or sum nd not stinkk? hahahh
lionandthelamb61 9
I've actually never heard of or used one, but I'm sure they're a lot more pleasant sounding than their purpose
CiaranPM 0
Clean themselves down under? Shit, just take a shower...
ilovemunro 0
haha yea down under..but likee to disinfect and make it smell extra nice i think? hahah
sallen0046 4
Think baby wipes, only designed for adult women. Especially useful on period days when you don't have the option to bathe every single time you use the restroom.
Ben360 6
Douche.
MissErikaHart 0
you should always use baby/fem wipes after u go to the bathroom. dry toilet paper alone is not good enough. when I go to someones house and they dont have wipes, I just think, "ew"
5t3ff1k4h 45
Erika: 1. The chemicals would not taste very pleasant for the guy who's going down on her. 2. The wipes are NOT necessary every time one goes to the bathroom. 3. Technically, they aren't necessary at all, since a shower is suffice. 4. The chemicals in the wipes sometimes, if not all the time, contain alcohol, which is very drying to tougher skin (think hand sanitizer and the drying effects on hands). Used on a sensitive area such as vaginal skin, I'm sure you can imagine how bad of an idea that is. 5. Even without alcohol (I haven't researched whether they all have alcohol in them, but since they are disinfecting wipes, I'm sure they all do) the chemicals are extremely irritating to such a sensitive area. 6. They are expensive. Again, soap and water... 7. Think about allergies. Some of the chemicals CAN give an allergic reaction. If the girl happens to be alright after using them and does not experience an allergic reaction, there is still a chance the guy might. Who wants that? 8. Toilet paper is used to absorb the wetness of urine from your vaginal area, since wetness in the area is the perfect breeding ground for bacteria. Oh, and bacteria is the cause of the funky smells "down there". As long as you're dry, nothing's needed in between daily showers. 9. The wipes contain moisture. Please refer to point number 8. 10. Every woman has her own personal scent. This attracts a male; many report being turned on by such a smell. Mind you, anything "fishy" smelling is bad and you should be going to a clinic for a pill to cure the yeast infection.
Spastastic 6
Straight-up facts win by 5t3ff1k4h.
glambert1998 0
its for a ****** dude,DUH!!!
Lozinger 0
Wow, there are actually intelligent people on this website :)
islandhani 0
nicely said 107 !
JokeMeister 0
r u retarded?
ashud 1
#107 Dude, you need to get a life. lmao
Plaasmaa 4
"Feminine wipes",otherwise known as "****** Kleenex"
astroid714 0
bahaha dnt blow him that'll teach him:) 8====D ~ lol
chippa 24
How do you add pictures to you comment? :
FTWisRIGHT 0
Search up emoji in the app store.
sallen0046 4
Why would you spend a "long day at work" in the summer and not bathe before you get your boyfriend to shove his face into your stank ******? Common sense, lady.
astroid714 0
so true!
perdix 31
No, I think HE'S the idiot for going down there after she's had a long day at work. If he couldn't wait for her to shower, he should have just stuck to ******* -- the penis has no nose (although mine has fingers :D)
xxniteskie 1
rofl!! ummmm..... O.o
kaycee1996 5
That's why she bought the wipes!
dubstep87 0
u could of showered first , any woman should before getting intimate
monnanon 14
wow what??? clean freak much. If you were "intimate" once then decided todo it again would you expect your lady, ( or yourself if you are female) to shower in between. Bah people are so scared of germs and dirt nowadays, live a little. Did you miss the part when she said she had bought wipes. They are designed to be used as a quick clean up. Im guessing she had full intentions of freshening up if her bf hadn't said what he did.
monnanon 14
for all those who shower loads during the day, i hope you know you are robbing your skin of its nautural protective oils. live a little,a little dirt never hurt anyone.
Cinn_fml 23
Monnanon you are totally and utterly correct. As is Steph (post #107). Also, the OP never says whether or not she showers or does anything to freshen up, we can assume that she did, but not necessarily as thoroughly as she might have done had her bf not said anything.
YouSuckAtLove 0
wait, his advice.. led you not to clean yourself? ugh, must have been sweaty and moldy or w/e
No_habla_espanol 11
lmao @ moldy