Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
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Top comments
sallen0046 4
Why would you spend a "long day at work" in the summer and not bathe before you get your boyfriend to shove his face into your stank ******? Common sense, lady.
lionandthelamb61 9
gross, it's called showering
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Comments (134)
JokeMeister 0
You must have some stank ass pussy!
niknik2014 1
I mean maybe if it was a hard day of work and you know u were stinkin maybe u should have showered instead of buying feminine wipes you totally deserve that but still your bf is an ass for doing something like that he should be happy you are "trying to keep yourself fresh"
seximexi911 10
bahaha ownd. that would kill my confidence. sucks for you dude
fuzzzzy 0
lmao!! haha..
malteseassassin 0
time to wash the ol' vajayjay
n_o_n_n_e_r_s 0
i would have died a thousand deaths
stunner_steph 0
lol get a douche
Bliitz1 0
Still don't understand why people keep promoting the idea of douching to clean it. =/ They obviously don't know whats good for them in my opinion. OP, wouldn't really know what to classify this as. Haha. Just think more of yourself when it comes to your body than what your boyfriend says. =]
brieebeear 0
you were smart to keep the feminine wipes in your purse. you never know when you might need them
sugarbear0727 19
That sucks op. Its always something I'm worried about, but my boyfriend always says its okay, and he doesn't care. He really doesn't. Lol.