Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
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Top comments
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.
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Comments (310)
Ineffableturtle 0
next keep the lights on, lock the door and keep your glasses on, your just plain stupid
vocaloidtiger 12
You're*.
teentee401 37
The irony
liinkinparkfan97 34
You're* I wouldn't be calling other people stupid if you can't even use proper grammar.
xstaticdelta 6
YOU ****ING DESERVED IT MORON
Paula844 7
Agreed #10. This who situation is screwed up.
dj87jetsfootball 0
WOW! dat sucks i agree YLS
up4thebadguys 0
jeeze, whats with americans, just a bunch of chronic masturbatures! Sado's.....
rightonlooser 0
Youre an idiot. Way to insult your own intelligence.
iislix1ii 19
Yeah but we can still kick your countries ass. So shush.
eradonnes 0
ooooohhhh gawd dayum right behind u my american friend!!! meheeco(mexico is right behind u) or would u rather have canada
Dallasluver19 14
Hahaha!!! It's true.. Americans are awesome !! We can be mean when we want to! Kill countries ass!
onyourmark 0
FYML, dude. **** your ma's life, for having a super creepy husband and a kid who's too lazy to close his door before he jerks off.
cyaneyedangel 2
Er, its a girl....
dj87jetsfootball 0
also if your a dude then y was your step dad staring
samiwammy 5
*facepalm*
littlemaynadster 0
she's a girl..
survivalism 0
Man, I feel your pain. If only they made some sort of device that separated two rooms, and you couldn't see through it, and there was an even smaller device inside the original device that you unable to open said device, thus allowing for privacy. But, as far as I'm aware, no such thing exists, so FYL.
Blaq 0
(Round of applause) LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rock!!!
BrEnNo1023 5
you mean... a WALL? and the smaller device... a DOOR? yeah, if only such contraptions existed... >sigh
Blaq 0
No, they mean...a DOOR. And the smaller device...a LOCK ... .. .
Blaq 0
No, they mean...a DOOR. And the smaller device...a LOCK ... .. .
myles397 0
haaa oh shit u meen a wall and a door lol
2an1a 4
#281..lmao!...u so need contacts
Blue_Coconuts 7
That's how porno's are started.
Xxl0gannxx 0
Haha, wow why was he still looking at you? Id talk to my mom about divorcing his ass.
cyberotter 0
agreed.