Today, my girlfriend wants to lick my butthole. How do I respond to that? I am genuinely confused and disgusted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, and ever since my boyfriend discovered what a rimjob is, it’s all he’s been asking for, no matter how many times I say no. I can’t be the only one who finds the thought of licking a butthole disgusting and vomit-inducing. Take the hint, no means no. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML
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Top comments
Razath 17
You respond by saying you're not into it (if you aren't)? Not much more difficult than that. Should never do things that either partner is uncomfortable with.
idragosani 17
Make sure you're clean and enjoy the ride
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Comments (8)
Razath 17
You respond by saying you're not into it (if you aren't)? Not much more difficult than that. Should never do things that either partner is uncomfortable with.
geerod 16
You should be open to trying new things in life ! She’s asking to lick yours not hers. Don’t knock it till you tried it!
Blobby McGee 5
let r buck. But she might not be the girl you'll marry. Girls like that are usually just the fun type, not the marrying type 😄
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
The kind of person who says they don't want to marry a girl who is fun in bed is usually the kind who ten years later spends all their time whining that their wife is no fun in bed.
idragosani 17
Make sure you're clean and enjoy the ride
RichardPencil 32
Good-bye. If you don't let her, she'll just find some other dude's butthole to lick. And then she'll come home with shit breath. Is that what you want?
Chazzster 32
It seems probable that girlfriend saw **** of that niche interest or otherwise figured you might be into it… You have two choices - communicate your feelings or try it. Frankly I’d pass, but there is a first time for everything…
SJKatt 15
I mean, yeah. If you don't clean your asshole properly that would be disgusting. But that's on you, not her. You don't have to let her do anything you're not comfortable with, but it's not gross. It's entirely normal for partners to eat each others' clean asshole.
Will Lawrence 3
yolo