Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
citruschick 0
Bahahaha. Molesterer
rihannalover 0
hahaha, my dad did this once but he was talking to his friend. he was talking about me and my sister saying "aww they're cute (we were young)" and then he said, "i LOOOOVE little girls (as a few people walked by :/)" it came out wrong. haha.
ericabella18 0
at least you were with friends and not with like random people or your boss or something. ;D
Kenshin220 1
pedobear would approve
DarkMirror 0
O.O Stay away from my house!
guitarist3047 0
Dumbass
saailaway 0
wtf does enamored mean. speak english. ty
kingbeau 0
ARGH! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Not a double entendre, good God man!! I haven't seen one of those since NAM! Truly your life is ****** if one of THEM was loosed upon you... I've seen grown men cry, and the strongest commanding officer I've ever known splattered into a fine mist all over the wall while giving the order "JOHNSON! GET YOUR LAUNCHER AND RUN IT AROUND IN THEIR HILLS!! THEN WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT YOU SHOOT YOUR PAYLOAD STRAIGHT INTO THE EYES OF THE ENEMY, GOT IT?!". None of the men were ever the same after that fateful day... You must be the first in decades to have had a DOUBLE ENTENDRE and survived! I'd call you lucky, but I know as well as any that a life haunted by a double entendre is hardly any life at all...
x0aka0x 0
i lol'ed at op and 130 yes to the vocab
nigma_fml 0
U nasty perve U deserve it. That was a Freudian slip. Maybe u like short women so u can think they're little girls.