Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (289)
mylifeisfuckedd 0
#27-maybe they're trying to say he soundsss like a creeper, not that he is a creeper
Turnip_Girl 0
Well, as a woman barely 5' tall, I'll overlook the accidental Pedobear and just say 'thanks' for the compliment, instead. ;)
Scotticus117 11
you use such sophisticated vocabulary until you said "i like little girls" lol, i mean enamored how about just say you're in love with her jeez. YDI though. it doesn't matter what size a girl is unless they're really fat i mean like girls for who they are.
Rakayum 0
why did you type that like a fag.
rocker8877 0
You're a ******* pediphile
Foolycooly 0
Hahahahaha ...hahaha..haha ha It's cool dude I like shortys to
swimdancelive 0
HA! PEDOOOO!!! lol jk. but thats hilarious! : D
sexybunny33 0
That makes u sound really yuckie!!!! I can only imagin how hard it friends laughed cuz I would b crackin up!!
mylifeisfuckeddd 0
i think these kind of FML's should have stopped at the Hitler one
chesspoly 0
eh, it's alright. I like em young too. There is a 15 year old chick I wanna plow. I'm gonna be 20...and you know what, shes down for it too. I like little girls, and I'm damn well proud of it.