Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
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Top comments
littlemuffet 0
Was he hot?
Roxas_fml 0
Wow, creepy.
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Comments (104)
Amkii 0
Ewwwwwww.....hahahaha. I love it.
the_redhead 0
You can't by liquor in grocery stores in most of Texas. Beer and wine, sure, but liquor, you've gotta go to a liquor store for that. Sucks.
thegoodlifeNOT 0
one word: CREEPER
bioclock 0
Dirty old men are hilarious. I'd be creeped out too if that happened to me, but that is just too funny.
sleepless15_p 0
He flirted with you. Get over it.
Jaxro 6
That guy is my hero, I wanna be just like him.
dammn 0
what a creep .
Neenertastic 0
Well, he's getting action somewhere for a dirty old man, dude picked up some condoms...
cookieinc 0
actually i used to work at a grocery store and some people were REALLY creepy like that especially if they're old and ugly... that stuff is disturbing lol
hurrdurr 0
God, just take the compliment. I wish bums thought I was hot.