Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
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Top comments
vladmire 4
Gotta love that stall conversation :)
SkoomaKi 28
A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.
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Comments (83)
onorexveritas 24
well he's wrong about one thing, that there's an antidote
TheInscrutable 0
I don't see the problem here... This Is just my sense of humor but that would have made my day a little bit funnier!
collegegirl17 8
If only they would hahah
thiscrazything 1
Too bad, they will instantly evaporate people who try to revolt.
Turtle_rebellion 10
That actually sounds like a perfect way to stop the idiots from breeding, and create a brighter future for humanity. If the govorment decides to do this, I'll support them.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You won't be supporting them when you find out they'll target the general population(i.e. you). But I'll never happen, it's just crazy conspiracy talk.
justmyluck22 14
Maybe your co-worker watches anime? There is a series based on that idea called "No. 6" xD but either way - sure must have been awkward .___.
HerpaderpMeg 12
The morons of the world would stop reproducing.
MargaretColleen 8
Clearly he's seen V for Vendetta (or read the comic) way too many times.
Failownercatty 10
Maybe if people weren't going crazy about sex, then this wouldn't have happened. FYL
tfrfml 5
Isn't that pretty much the plot of Contagion...