Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
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Top comments
vladmire 4
Gotta love that stall conversation :)
SkoomaKi 28
A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.
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Comments (83)
dogpup4 23
Bet he tries that on with the women so they can make babies before the Government sterilises everyone.
supportcommand 17
There should be no talking while on the shitter. Or at urinals either. Bodily noises only.
THE_A_TEEN 28
If only we apply this to conspiracy theorists, along with free Lobotomies, then we can live without some dumbass with his tin-foil hat loose rambling about the NWO and faked moon landings.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*NWO
coughyochick 7
Somebody's been on Cracked here lately
Metallica36176 16
I can recall another FML like this one. They're everywhere!!
FML_Elle 17
G
THE_A_TEEN 28
Good, and what's the next letter in the alphabet?
LaughinStock 16
It's H it's H, can I get a cookie now??
FML_Elle 17
Even taking a crap is getting so complex these days
Honeydall 3
Sorry to let u know. But what theyre saying is true.
dominic1221 6
Improve your grammar, and I'll take you a tiny bit more seriously. Just kidding - I really won't.
limblessorphan 4
Yes he said disease but meant commercial telivision is gonna make us all sterile.
alycion 39
Sounds like he shouldn't get the antidote. We don't need stall talkers breeding.