Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
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Top comments
vladmire 4
Gotta love that stall conversation :)
SkoomaKi 28
A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.
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Comments (83)
reldnahceus 8
They're life's suck!
someguy314159265 15
I really hope that they are doing that.
glamery 3
obviously not happening in china or indiana....
SILVERSTAR_6 17
It's on record that GMO food is designed to sterilize u and give u cancer, why do you think cancer is off the charts? Monsanto won't even eat their own food in their cafeteria, and they've been putting SV40 in ur vaccines and other cancer viruses for the last 60 years it's designed to soft kill u if u look it up, it's in the rockefeller foundation documents ..they brag about soft killing us all the time in their books they think ur so dumb that u won't look into this cuz they think ur all a bunch of chumps who watch tv all day
SamCrow 1
Human trails begin in largely populated areas in the Middle East ( all of it) and Africa. wOOt
skate2125 4
That's a book called Legend. haha
AmberAusgeflippt 13
That's the best idea I've ever heard. They should make everyone sterile and in order to be able to reproduce, you have to have a certain income, iq, have a car and home, be drug tested etc.
Amandaveronica 3
it's called the walking dead. lol
Tacogamer20 14
There is actually a novel based around a scientist making a disease to cause a mass die off because he is obsessed with overpopulation and wants to stop it. At the end of the story, you find out the pathogen actually was designed to sterilize a percent of the population to slow down human growth.
theinfiniteend 21
That was in a book ?