Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
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Top comments
vladmire 4
Gotta love that stall conversation :)
SkoomaKi 28
A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.
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Comments (83)
FaraPjJammaz 13
Well, wasn't that just your day
305Miami 0
Atleast you werent bored while on the crapper
Hiimhaileypotter 53
People who talk in bathrooms are so awkward...
TheMathMajor 26
It's kind of like when your gynecologist tries to talk to you when she's down there making sure your lady parts are healthy and what not. I guess that's slightly more awkward.
klx125cross 9
IKR?
mikeymayhem_87 15
Not sure if the ladies have the golden rule in bathrooms like us guys do, but I hate it when some guy stands at the urinal right next to me, breaking the "every other urinal" personal space rule.
TheMathMajor 26
If I was a guy I would pee in the stall.
klovely22 13
110- We don't really need rules. It's common sense.
Chill_Turtle95 3
LOL you learn something new everyday
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, we learned that he's a tin foil hat-wearing conspiracy theorist.
Chill_Turtle95 3
Isn't that still learning? OP got to know how the mind of a co-worker functions.
TheDrifter 24
Oryx and Crake must be a favorite of his. But the jokes on him, we all know the corporations won't turn over the REAL antidote without conditions. Now to make a new foil hat before they track me down again.
Nbrandwine 7
Deep thinking after that long restroom break. Gotta love it.
Kajol123 5
*during
emeraldisle 30
Seems like he's been wanting to share that with someone for a while.
babalooisbabaloo 5
Man, awkward bathroom convos are the best!
KiddNYC1O 22
This certainly calls for a fart war.
FuzzyJack 15
Ah man, I love these kind of conversations/discussions. But not on the toilet.