Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
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Top comments
vladmire 4
Gotta love that stall conversation :)
SkoomaKi 28
A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.
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Comments (83)
badmike89 6
I'm gonna get hate for this but it actually doesn't sound like a bad idea just not from the government a private party would work way better your coworker may be on to something hmmm
perdix 31
Is he one of those meddling teenagers from Scooby Doo? Our plan is working so well! We don't need some malcontent blowing it for us.
bryan788 29
Sounds like he need to be the first test subject
klx125cross 9
Lololololol!
SilentWind 0
I hope that doesn't jinx us
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's the plot of the Heroes for Hire comic, vol.2 or 3.
stormchaser24 24
Well, look at how they add Fluoride to water and other things. Lol.
Shrike 24
It varies by country, and then even more so. It's been going on since about 1945. Now guess what? The world population back then was about 2 and a half billion. Now it's about 7 billion. Where's the population decline?
OceanBlueSea 12
At least it wasn't while you were takin' a piss.
laden_swallow09 35
I don't understand how that could make it any better?
OceanBlueSea 12
It doesn't make it any better, but it would be a hell of a lot more awkward if they were.
awkward_gothlady 32
It never ceases to amaze me how many people actually want to carry on a conversation when one or both participants are sitting on the toilet. Do people have no concept of privacy?
WhyAmUHere 19
That actually wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it would restrict future swagfags.