Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
mpkpm 19
Hah, I'd say watch your back if your brother wasn't hilarious. Good on him.
zoepie 7
Why the **** were you looking?
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Comments (118)
AlwaysWatching 27
PEFRECT. I admire him now.
laden_swallow09 35
So you have no problem with admitting that you look up to a potentially homicidal maniac. Congratulations.
pandalover69 26
Oh shut up. The story was clearly written to scare his snooping sister (the OP). And guess what, it worked. If she wasn't a snoop then there wouldn't have been a story. She deserved it.
Breegotcake 14
Your brother probably knew you was going to snoop and wrote that to scare you or is a little crazy.
Breegotcake 14
I still love how people think it's okay to snoop through people personal stuff but if someone did it to them all hell breaks loose. Smh.
jaybone87 8
your just like the NSA
FMLworthy5000 21
Plot twist! Your brother is a genius.
WD_Stevens 22
Bravo to your brother. That's genius!
olpally 33
Yeah, have respect for other people's privacy, especially family. He got you good. Lol. YDI moron.
HeyTherexxx 21
Respect his privacy...
worldclassrager 41
Well you're screwed I really hope he was joking
sdroze1389 31
why would he kill the entire family for your intrusion?
TheLadyOpal 30
I think he kills the entire family because he has no way of knowing which one is currently reading the story (therefore which of the family is snooping through his stuff). It's a bit like when the teacher punishes the whole class because no one will admit to putting a tack in her chair.
sdroze1389 31
#43. ah sounds reasonable. for some reason I just assumed OPs brother knew who was snooping.