Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
mpkpm 19
Hah, I'd say watch your back if your brother wasn't hilarious. Good on him.
zoepie 7
Why the **** were you looking?
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Comments (118)
ryanfarrow 2
Whoops. I hope there is a lesson to be learned here.
Vnzou22 9
looks like you arent actually very sneaky.
UhItsHavoc 6
I must say that is pure brilliance. I must go and do the same now. Hope you enjoyed invading an author's privacy! ;D
jmayer12 14
You deserved it!
alphabetta 23
There's a button for that.
Nilorak 24
There's a button for that too.
Raidriar 14
29, I cannot find the button that says "There's a button for that." Is there a button for this too?
pwnman 33
Your brother inspired me to make something like this
rivaraven 35
I hope you learned something from this.
ber4fun13 10
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
UnluckyJulie 13
Sounds like you do this sort of thing habitually, and are none too subtle about it, either. Mind your own business and stop snooping through your brother's shit. The only thing I'm left wondering is why he hasn't password-protected his computer.
little_one1 14
The same reason I don't put a password on my stuff when I know someone is snooping in my shit. It's a hidden trap.
aire101 16
It might also be an account on a shared family computer and their parents don't let them put passwords up.
GamerPerson 19
Why, where's the fun in that? If it was password protected, we wouldn't have this lovely FML now, would we? :) And on that note, YDI, OP! Thanks for the laugh though! :)
Spyderbane 10
your going to go missing and your brother will be helping himself to another ear of corn while thinking " I am sure in time every bit of you will be gone and your death will be a mystery... even to me"
rien151 19
awesome secret window quote
edward80 18
You've just got schooled girl !