Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
mpkpm 19
Hah, I'd say watch your back if your brother wasn't hilarious. Good on him.
zoepie 7
Why the **** were you looking?
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Comments (118)
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe you shouldn't snoop through other people's computers. YDI.
Luluthus 41
YDI for spying on him. Also your brother is awesome.
middlenamefrank 8
Why does it seem like this isn't the first time you've "snuck a peek" at his stuff? Maybe, just maybe, you should stop that shit. He knows and he's NOT happy about it.
krad204 21
I'm guessing he wrote that just so if anyone snooped on his computer they would see that..
pandalover69 26
Your brother is awesome and you are obviously a known snoop in your family. He probably wouldn't have written that story if your weren't a snoop. Guess what he wrote it because he knew you would go through his computer. Maybe you should take the hint and snooping around.
Meepson 9
Run
reilyn 10
I'm still trying to figure out why you would want to snoop through your brother's computer... Expecting a gift? I know I wouldn't want to know what was on my brother's.
odod777 28
At least it wasn't ****...
WickedScarlet73 6
Well you must have done this before, because he got smart and set up a trap for the second time.
fuggotmuggot 14
Turn around VERY VERY slowly.