Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
mpkpm 19
Hah, I'd say watch your back if your brother wasn't hilarious. Good on him.
zoepie 7
Why the **** were you looking?
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Comments (118)
buckdharma 38
Beware of the knife coated with Nutella op!
how_to_implode 17
Since he's not actually planning on killing your family, just cleverly anticipating your snooping ... I don't see at all how this is an f YOUR L.
sirspankalot 11
Actually now that you've already been set up, you might as well take the full plunge. If you are able to access the google doc, it means 1) he is still logged into his account. 2) you have full access of his gmail. 3) Might as well have him scrambling around trying to figure out how to recover from the mess your mass and extremely embarrassing emails you've sent out as him. If you are going to die might as well do it for it's full worth...
sunnyray812 42
Now you know what happens to neb-noses.
Turbo_Turtle 14
I have one of those. Only me and the cat survive.
rawlings123 17
Well did you learn you're ******* lesson. Why are you looking through his computer?
buttcramp 21
your brother has style.
Agtthepw 21
Well... At least you know how it's going to happen!
tuffykat 8
you should not have read that!! unread unread..maybe stop looking at his browser history too!!
telli164 30
That's what you get for snooping, he clearly knew what you were doing and decided to mess with you instead of confronting you. I like.