Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML
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Top comments
alexup24 13
I'd start filing a divorce...
thebaddayblues 3
I hate when that happens..
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Comments (340)
thebaddayblues 3
I hate when that happens..
MrBrightside21 20
That's funny 30, my girlfriend says the same about me...
IphonFML 6
Wow, can you say whipped? Kick his ass and divorce her ass and sleep with her best friend for an equalizer :P
JulieHope_fml 7
Don't you mean soon to be ex-wife?
kyarush 10
Well find your way to the nearest courthouse. Divorce papers my man... Divorce papers.
Marcella1016 32
65 - And this could be one case where the man could actually keep the house, based on the circumstances
firefighter_mike 1
65-because this is one of those instances where two wrongs would make a right, right? *face palm*
OHai15 12
Simply pick up the phone and call 1800-CHOKE-DAT-HOE
boofgall 16
You hate when that happens? Lol, you make it sound like a common thing. Having your wife scream insanely, endlessly.
Roevera 14
And the guy she was sleeping with wasn't scared shitless with her screaming like a maniac?
xoconnie 8
go back and punch the guy in the face if he's still there. confront ur wife!!!!
honne_tatemae 9
Find the section on divorce, might as well make use of your time there.
onlychildFTW 34
That must have really sucked OP. time for a divorce.
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Yes.... Yes
RadikulRam 16
Don't you guys know how much a divorce costs, especially if the other side disagrees to it? Regardless of whether anyone is cheating or not thanks to the, all so convenient made for the lawyers pocket, law called "No Fault Divorce Law".
Living_Fetus13 0
Hahaha
jab7769 8
Call the police adultery is still a crime it's not like she will go to jail but it is documented. While she is being served the ticket sit outside with a quality camera take pictures of her and the other guy screaming at the cops. The next morning take all the evidence and file for divorce and sue her for emotional stress pay for your lawyer fees on the divorce.
lefty619 6
Kick the bitch to the curb wtf you don't know what to do?
twisted_cherub 14
231- I believe you're mistaken about "No Fault Divorce". It's an option for people trying to get a divorce, not a requirement. It doesn't require people to hire attorneys at all, saving them money. No fault divorce makes it easier for a partner to get the divorce pushed through even if the other party doesn't want to dissolve the marriage. If the UK has such a law it would be easier for OP to get a divorce, but leave him with less of the marital assets due to not proving his wife was cheating.
Dojan 16
240 - It is her house. How is he supposed to kick her out of her own house?
PhilMcHawk 7
Awarded it in the divorce. If he had been cheating, you can bet your ass she would have gotten his shit. Works the same way for the other side of the coin, believe it or not. It's just not as common because men aren't bitches...
tjv3 10
Wow you just left you didn't do anything at all??? What a pansy
jerseyboy732 16
go find the guys wife and sleep with her
alychick 5
He should do that!!
berichsoon 11
That wouldn't solve the problem, he needs to grow some balls and face the situation, it's time to make decisions not sit in the library
starman02 12
It may not solve the problem but I'm sure it would make him feel better :)
Drigr 9
17, it sounded like he was ready to confront it, but the wife just kept screaming. My only question, was she just screaming, or was she moaning.
ttttttyyy 0
OP should have kicked the other guy's ass, then thrown the wife out to the curb!
alexup24 13
I'd start filing a divorce...
biggestfan23 11
This is one of the few times on FML where saying that makes perfect sense
melikesfml 11
Your wife is apparently a monstrous whorefuck.
lolfood 24
"Whorefuck" that made my day
cc_the_beast 6
^ yeah that's going in my mental dictionary for later...
afropuffjake 9
Please post an FML to tell us how she reacts when you do!
yahoowizard 16
...and hope sexism has reversed its rules and try to get her house in court
ajourdhui 0
This is terrible ): I feel so sorry for you.
Mitcha857 0
Yes it is terrible but OP is too! Think about it. He finds his wife sleeping with another man, and instead of confronting her or the other guy he runs to a LIBRARY?! OP lay down the law and find your balls! Or did you forget where those were?
IndieCowboy 15
Yep, so many OPs these days sound like timid ball-less bitchs, gee what's happening to our species when we can't confront anything except through a lawyer...
partout_fml 6
I think that it's really hard to react when being under shock, impartial from the ball-size. We all know the feeling, when we would like to change our words / reaction in the aftermath. But I'm afraid that this is not his biggest problem, for now. Feeling so sorry :(
thedome115 5
I agree
Thompsonwccs 2
OF course FML is full of ballless (sp) Posters, Real men handle their business rather than complaining online.
doctorhook86 25
I think the real problem here is too many comments by idiot teenagers who don't know how to deal with problems like adults.
PvtParts417 15
You should have screamed back
Soloman212 28
Retreating to the library was a sign of weakness, a fatal and final mistake. Your wife is now preparing her next, and last, strike.
HighGTurn 12
Ikr?? Should've grown a pair and kicked that dudes ass!!!
Heinousness 0
OP, what you do is write an FML about what happened.
Krysk_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So one of you first thoughts was to post it on fml?
Danny0522 8
Yes, since every commenter on here gives such good advice.
Krysk_fml 0
Your first thoughts WERE to post t on fml*
justlikeme79 9
"One" is the subject. Predicate is singular. Stfu.
Boomshadow 3
No, he was right. The verb "was" is showing the action of the adverbial phrase "one of you (sic) first thoughts." Since "One was to post it on FML" is a valid sentence with subject-verb agreement, "One of you[r] first thoughts was to post it on FML" is a valid sentence with subject-verb agreement. Don't correct grammar unless you know it. *Drops the mic*
vettle 6
Don't be annoying
jerseyboy732 16
14: *puts on shades*
ElricMustang 23
But it doesn't matter since the sentence wasn't written correctly anyway.
murdersquirrel 15
It was so close, though. So close.
eclyse88 0
Hwhahahahaha
eilonwylovegood 8
Wasn't he just correcting himself and not somebody else?
ohmandapants 17
^ He "corrected" himself but his correction was wrong...
PhilMcHawk 7
Boom.
Calyx_fml 22
Ironic photo.
deviable 9
Wow... I'd say you're ****** but... Well... Sorry bud. You should probably face your demon and go back to confront her. Maybe try screaming back and see if that works?
plaguer 26
I would advise not to take that demon remark lightly, OP.
myopinioncounts 3
i think his wife is the ****** one
starman02 12
Well.. I can tell you what to do.. Go back to the house and put her in her place! That's awful! And maybe while you are at it.. You should make sure you put the guy in his place.. Like the hospital sounds like a good place.
Mnemosyne_Love 2
Because on top of his wife cheating on him he also wants to be charged with assualt. That'll make OP's situation so much better.
starman02 12
It would.. Don't ya think? Get all the pent up anger out? OH! .. I'm sorry.. For a second there I was thinking I was replying to someone who has been cheated on by someone who they loved dearly. .. My mistake.. :)
myopinioncounts 3
and find those damn cojones
MedKits 9
Does it matter? Whether 22 has been cheated on before or not doesn't change the fact that an assault and battery charge will make OP's day worse.
collin1992 0
U should
MrTittySprinkles 7
Most of you probably don't realize that he could have killed both of them and gotten away with it if he hadn't left it is an act of passion and the law states that any one who influences another in such away as to take another's life they are responsible.
lithpiperpilot 0
112: You are not a lawyer. Please do not give legal advice again, as someone is likely to end up in jail because of you. In an act of passion murder, you are still guilty and responsible, but the penalties are less harsh than any other form.
pagullarka 9
Can I be invited to the party in your profile picture, next time please :)
mikemmm21 0
I am also in for the party :)
BigBoyBounce 5
You should have stayed, kicked the guys ass and filed a devorce.
ScotsLassie 6
We don't know that the guy knew she was married. It's not his fault but hers. And if they r married why is he saying it is her house, even if she bought it before they got together it still makes it his house.
murdersquirrel 15
He should've left and immediately called the cops from another location. She was being irrational and insane. At the very least, a police presence would've calmed her the **** down, straightened out the living arrangement and cleared him of any suspicion. That kind of situation can escalate to a life altering degree.
Ambience138 11
Maybe in your country, sure. That what's mine is yours shit is bullshit outside of the USA.
brokenhelix 4
Usually wives don't have affairs with men who are weak like their husbands. They're filling a need/void (most of the time) and I've heard story after story of the husband getting beat up when he tries to confront the dude the wife is sleeping with. FYL OP. Sounds like a totally crappy situation
marcranger 29
He's saying it's her house because her name is likely the only one on the title. In which case, if she bought it before the marriage, it is NOT considered marital property. OP needs to find a new residence.
maxamus951852 3
Sorry, but i probably would have slapped her if she was screaming at me.. hell, she deserves to be slapped just for cheating
nevermoremarni 3
You never slap a girl!
DaftDude 11
You can slap a cheating bastard though