Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
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Top comments
xiar 0
you were ****** blocked
syki 22
I believe the correct term is "snatchlatched."
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Comments (203)
Emilyinroom483 7
Every time I read some self-centered guy's comment about how girl on girl is hot, a little part of my lady-preferring soul dies. **** off, it's bad enough that most lesbian **** is directed at men - we are not your sex objects. We're human ******* beings.
Ceaszhar 0
aaaaaw! I hate women that aren't true with their sexuality.
Emilyinroom483 7
Well whoop-de-*******-do that you find it unattractive. Same if you do. But because all of you seem to have failed to notice, LESBIANS DO NOT GIVE A **** IF MEN FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE. Your opinion is not needed. Your opinion is not wanted. Your opinion is extremely irrelevant and it is presumptuous of all these dickheads to be offering it. Jesus. Women don't exist to be attractive to men.
StrangerrDangerr 4
Bam. Bummer.
blink831forever 13
Damn that sucks! I'm sorry OP.
Aoife_ckyou 0
I don't know why, but the fact that he 'threw her' just makes me think she's a manly, butch dyke. and that's not hot.
lonewolf2701 0
weird...my ex's name was katrina and she is bi....
Aoife_ckyou 0
so? I'm pretty sure the op is gay, not bi.
WildInTheStreets 5
sketchh.
quinterobby 0
haha ruind the moment !
I_R_Genius 3
#182- Your opinion is not needed then if no one cares about them.