Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML
Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML
Today, I finally felt better after having the flu for two weeks. I decided to do some much-needed cleaning that I hadn't been able to do while sick. I tripped over my rug and broke my ankle. FML
Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML
Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
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Top comments
sempisaviour 17
Seriously? Did that delivery boy think you were going to kill him? FYL, and **** anyone who said YDI.
feven 32
He probably didn't want to catch whatever you had. But wow, the flu and pink eye? You must be miserable.. Good luck.
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Comments (37)
kayayye 22
Hope you feel better lol that's funny though
TheHcwalker 20
Why would someone dislike this, it's pretty funny
i135 8
I feel u
sempisaviour 17
Seriously? Did that delivery boy think you were going to kill him? FYL, and **** anyone who said YDI.
BlockOfRedStone 25
Well, if she had pink eye, I can imagine maybe the delivery boy mistaking OP for a demon, especially if OP also has straight black hair covering her face.
Paws_Cat 29
To be fair, we can't really say YDI, it's "Phew, glad it wasn't me!"
Dale_shackleford 13
Isn't that pretty much the same as FYL? There really isn't much difference.
Steve97 32
Tbh maybe OP should take better care of herself...
haddiej 21
Yeah, because if you get sick, you're obviously not taking care of yourself. Dumbass.
Steve97 32
But if you get the flu and pink eye in the middle of spring then maybe OP should be washing her hands more? Watch your tone so you don't sound like an idiot...
chinaski7628 32
You can get the flu and pink eye any time of year. And you can get both even if you fanatically wash your hands. Flu germs can be airborne, and pink eye can be caused by flu/cold viruses, allergies, contact lenses—basically anything that can irritate and inflame the eye. Also, depending on OP's profession, she might be exposed to a lot of illness/germs (medical professional, teacher, etc…). Sometimes there are things in life beyond your control. Don't be so judgmental, 26.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
you can also get what my son's Dr told me was basically allergic pink eye. my son got it during allergy season.
Kinglue 17
For me it says "phew, glad it wasn't me" cause of the update so I clicked it
feven 32
He probably didn't want to catch whatever you had. But wow, the flu and pink eye? You must be miserable.. Good luck.
socialproduct 19
Sounds like the delivery boy's reaction is the least of Op's problems right now.
UserError94 18
Maybe she got free food! Scare them away my friend!
Teyros 24
Feel shitty, look shitty, I feel so sorry for you OP. Get lots of rest and spend some time gaming..
Twisted_Killjoy 23
But did he drop the food?
brenton490 19
Real questions that need answers.
PineappleTango12 11
Hey, free food is always a plus. Sorry you feel so shitty op, hopefully you can get some more free stuff if you complain to the delivery service :/
zeffra13 31
What did you expect? You could be responsible for the rest of his deliveries catching what you have, or getting him sick.
janderson416 16
Does that mean the food was free? That would be some good from all the FML in your life
Estelle101_fml 13
I'm really sorry op, I hope you get better, that delivery boy wasn't very professional. What was he expecting? You to be some super model?