Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I was asleep on a plane. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone around us laughed. FML
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
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Top comments
SunDropGirl 0
you could have said hi or played peek a boo but instead you decided to play tiger.. you have a way with children who aren't yours... it would have been cute if it was your kid not a stranger sorry op
HeavyMetalViking 0
Is "play tiger" the slang for "going all pedobear"?
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Comments (129)
bloodycherries_fml 3
even if it's accidental, UDI b/c u shouldnt exactly play on the airplane...
atomicbaboon 0
nevermind the fact that op was playing with someone else's kid and "playing tiger."
darkmis1 18
If I were that kids mom, I would've been like "Wtf are you doing to my kid?"
zdbh 0
hahahahahahaah!
chronicxxl 0
I would make love to your face
jess6blondie9 3
Okay I read this, and all I thought was that you're a 50 year old man, trying to get on the kids good side so that you can rape him. I'm glad he smashed a water bottle in your face. You deserve it for creeping on little kids.
Barney_Rubble_75 0
OP is a woman.
jess6blondie9 3
Okay then she's a 50 year old cougar woman.
benderbot19 0
lesson learned, creep. don't "play tiger" (whatever the **** you mean by that) with other people's children.
yoyodog27 5
what would you do if a tiger was about to attack you
FreebirdIII 1
If you scratched me, i would make your brown eye black, from my boot.
chickenfriedCG 0
relax everybody. the 4 year old was obviously a plain clothes air Marshall protecting the plane from a would be terrorist tiger.
livin_plur 0
59 y r u such a creep?