Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I booked the cheapest seat on a six-hour flight to save money. The person next to me spent the entire trip asleep on my shoulder, and I felt too awkward to wake them up. By the time we landed, my neck hurt so much that I had to explain to guards and baggage claim staff why I couldn't turn my head. FML
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an "inconsiderate, selfish bitch." FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
KingDingALing 9
Start farting as loud as you can. Then go blow up the toilet, but don't close the door. Let everyone smell the aroma of that burrito you had earlier. Or you can just make your seat pull back so that the little asshole has no room to open the tray or move his legs.
antolenice_fml 1
Yeah, like in every movie where the protagonist is in a plane.
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Comments (101)
Thomaswheeler549 0
first comment
TurkTurkleton 0
your mom must be so proud
jal10a 1
11 I like ur pic and ur name
Gross2332 0
l
Idonebeenhad 17
You got thrashed from behind? Yikes!
TurkTurkleton 0
What'd you expect to happen?
xxxlauraxxx 0
the kid giving him a cookie and saying "you look swell today mate" :).
antolenice_fml 1
Yeah, like in every movie where the protagonist is in a plane.
marmlr339 14
did the kid not have parents?
Yung23 0
Lmfao I would beat the hell out of him you not just gone spit I'n my face!!!
xxxlauraxxx 0
nah no need for that. I woulda made the kid get real intimate with the bottom of da ladys shoe.:).
nutsackmuscle 0
spit right back in his.
Autoshot 9
I would have spit a loogie so hard in his face it would have given the little bastard a black eye.
tjv3 10
that's when you smack the shit out of him, or take your belt and tan his hide. this is what happens when "time outs" or "positive reinforcement" is used instead of spankings and corporal punishments. this is also what happens when there parents don't take the time to teach respect, proper manners, common sense, or respect.
schwancy 2
Death to all who fail to discipline their kids!
zach456 0
I woulda shoved the lil bastard off tge plane and used the lady as a pillow
TinyDude 10
u should never ever take the economy class.
sarapsosis 1
you are all liars none of you would have done anything to that child, me I would give his useless parents a piece of my mind and shoved a sock down that snoring monsters throat!
Bano360 25
I would have hit him so hard that not even Google could find him.
cmfh88 0
omg I ****** hate other people's kids
truededication 0
that's exactly why I fly in business class.
IceCreamm_fml 14
well not everyone is Asian and can afford first class
cda2090 6
muthafukin spit back
jmrtheman 3
that's when u threaten to throw him out of that plane and scare the shit out of him!
lifeisaterriblem 6
I would've killed that kid.
MysticMint 0
Well, at least your not on a flight to somewhere like Hong Kong with them. It may be a long 3hours but you'll live. ;3
dani_c 0
Now that's a looooonnggg flight. Thirteen to fourteen hours of pure boredom and uncomfortable seats... It's really not fun when you're sitting between two strangers who speak nothing but chinese with noone you know in sight... I've been there before.
ImInABox 6
Is he a camel?
xxxlauraxxx 0
only if he's lucky. :)
Tuesdays76 0
A camel can't help but to bump the seat. Camels just can't contain their Humps.
ILoveEggnog 7
Yeah. They're always humpin the shit out of stuff.
dedrater_kool_u 0
no. hes just a mutha ****** kid!
dedrater_kool_u 0
no. hes just a mutha ****** kid!
cookie_3008 4
Don't you mean a llama??!!
CANNIBALx 0
camel toe.
camerican21 1
Sucks for you
Yung23 0
lmfao
overthelimit 3
yeah fyl OP. snoring sucks. and kids too.
yuggi1 11
The irony! Los Angeles is such an angelic name, too bad the people there are rotten to the core. :P
SchiTzenGiglez 0
ahh so true. I love LA. Represent.
notsocrazee 0
los angeles means 'lost angel'. not that angelic.
mwjessica 0
"Lost Angel"? I don't think so. Try "The Angels". :/
hiyourcute 0
It means "the angels", as in the city of angels, get it? Not "lost angels"...
Fx13mz 7
Someone failed Spanish class BADLY.
justinhi 0
donde esta Los Angeles lol
iizcalebhearmero 0
Donde estÁ Los Angeles. Someone else failed Spanish class badly.
kcluna 6
Quizás el tipo no tiene como poner los asentós!!!! No sean tan malos!!!!
xxiLL_Addictxx 0
^ win
SchiTzenGiglez 0
what just happened! :o
yamcha 7
not all are rotten and those who are have lived in the ghetto and been corrupted
mrlawlor7777 26
I know this is 4 years old. However, 85, if you're going to correct someone, at least get it right. All Spanish question words have accents. It should be dónde está, not donde está.
enonymous 9
Welcome to LA. Now give us your wallet
dirtyblond 4
Or get shot.
joe_says_so 0
usually both.
MickysGlamKillz 0
duumb not everyone is like that, am from LA homiee ! -____-
KingDingALing 9
Start farting as loud as you can. Then go blow up the toilet, but don't close the door. Let everyone smell the aroma of that burrito you had earlier. Or you can just make your seat pull back so that the little asshole has no room to open the tray or move his legs.
JoshK9030 0
okay first you have to turn around and demand that she tells her child to stfu. if that doesnt work, challange the little boy to a light saber fight. he probably wont believe that lightsabers are real. as he tries to reason with you, stand up and strike him as hard as you can exclaiming 'theyre real!' and repeat. now, the mother will probably get involved and at this time, you need to pick the child up, who is still dazed by the hit, and run off. you then need to flee to mexico for their police forces in mexico are less than reputable. finally from an ex-meth lab, you tie the child up and send ransom letters to the mother. and BOOM instant cash