Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML
Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML
Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML
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Top comments
alexh15 13
I see some family friction in the near future...
CaliGali 9
Hope he's ok OP things can be replaced but brothers can't.
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Comments (127)
cutiee108 5
Don't bitch. He's alive! Just kick his butt once he's okay.
Pelreskovich 11
Better start saving for a new bike!
lesbopony 0
I think his brother should :p
Pelreskovich 11
Unless he has one of THOSE brothers.. Which I'm guessing he does.
darkkisses 6
I'm sorry about your motorcycle OP. But for right now, just worry about your brother. Objects can be replaced, lives cant.
Swiftly 0
Dude I would care more about my brother being okay than my motorcycle! Bikes can be replaced, but family members can't.
ApologyKick 25
Ever hear about the new family replacer? it's called sex
gonad_gobbler 1
tell him to be careful! he could fall and damage his brain and lose his motor skills!
DocBastard 40
I'm not sure how old your parents are, but if they are still of childbearing/rearing age, I'd ask them to make you a new brother to replace the one you're about to kill. See, everyone? Things and people can BOTH be replaced!
astralvagan 20
Wonder if you'll go visit him in your jail
newburton13 26
Oh no he di'int.
MrsUresti 8
Lol
littlemsweirdo 12
I bet you had that OH HELL TO THE NO moment(: But seriously, that really sucks !
babykillaseason 0
Sierra?
arielzbkny 0
Oh brother....