Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML
Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML
Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML
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Top comments
alexh15 13
I see some family friction in the near future...
CaliGali 9
Hope he's ok OP things can be replaced but brothers can't.
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Comments (127)
my3rdgenipodtouc 0
So you care more about the motorcycle than your own brother's safety? YDI
THE_A_TEEN 28
Shut up Mr. "i'm morally right". Motorcycles are expensive, even the insurance for motorcycles. Also, you don't know OP's relationship with his brother. ...and he's a dispacher, he can find out about his bro's safety. Dumbshite....
bubo_fml 11
You get a new bike & a free pass to whip your Brother's ass...Savor it buddy, 2 fer 1s' like this are rare!
ninjadinos 14
Kick his ass. Unless he's hurt, then wait for him to heal. Then kick his ass.
adanielle76 1
So you don't care about your brother getting into an accident but you care about your motorcycle ? Maybe he took it because he was unappreciated and he need attention .
HannahWho 8
That is not a logical excuse. Bad attention only makes people want to ignore you more. Destroying something your brother worked hard for won't make him want you around, thus not givin you attention. A dispatcher hears what is going on, so obviously he heard his brother was fine but his bike is not. So the brother walks away and Op no longer has something he loves.
hello_therrrreee 5
that doesnt give no right for any relative to take what you work for...
SeemsToFail 0
So is this for your brother or your motorcycle or both
l0v3p4in 7
OP: "911, Please, state the nature of your emergency." OP's Brother: "Yeah, there's been an accident here. I was driving my motorcycle and ----" OP: "Bob?" OP's Brother: "Oh, shit!" Beeeeeeeeeeeee
didthatreallyhap_fml 14
Correction... you use to own a moyorcycle, now you own whatevers left of it... hope your brother is ok.
Incogneterpeter 1
At least you weren't the last to find out
KiddNYC1O 22
Time to take full control of the big brother role. I'd be concerned about him.