Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
Today, I drove to return a PC that my former company lent me to work at home, because I quit that job so won't be working there anymore. On my way to the office, I was robbed of both my car and the computer. FML
Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas in it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML
Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML
Today, after getting booked off work for being sick, I go to work anyway. On the way home, I stop by a colleagues fairwell, being the paranoid type of guy I make sure my car is locked about 3-4 times and head in. Later I get home to find my laptop has been stolen from my boot with my medication. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML
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Top comments
animerose08 6
thats when I'd call the cops and report both my purse and car stolen. If my brother did that w/o my knowledge, I'd be pissed! I hope you didn't have to walk too far. I hope you kicked his ass when you saw him! LoL
ilovejeland 0
soo did you walk??? btw you should bring the cops home with you to scare the shitt out of him. then have him arrested..haha
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Comments (82)
broseff 0
nice! lol
Mickay1232 0
lol I rotfled at this hahaha idk y but u definatly DONT deserve that lol
handhugsftw 0
haha what a jerk. still got a good laugh from it though :)
imaginaryvoice 18
Wait, this fml confuses me. How did he get your car keys?
moofin123456 0
do it to him...leave a sticky note where his stuff would usually be and right "I O U" FOOL PROOF PLAN GAiS
Evee359 0
shit u don't deserve that sorry op
Raleigh_bruh 7
IV, Op probably gave them to him. :P
satanic_fml 13
kill him
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol Raleigh. Well then she totally had it coming. She can't complain about her brother taking her car if she gave him the car keys.
rosemary1990 0
FYL n y did u give him the keys?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Exactly, IV. Now you understand. :]
ispitflames 3
why the **** would you leave your purse in your car?
AyeItsMobleyy 0
47, that's what I was thinking. &how'd he even get in OP's car.
Brittney_E 0
doors were unlocked...?
BoyFromTheFuture 0
sounds like she's a kid that still drives her parents car. If so, then your bro might be a douche for the way he handled it but it's not the end of the world. Tell your moms.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Even if the doors were unlocked Op most likely had to give her brother the keys to start it. I doubt she'd be that dumb to leave them in her purse or whatever.
fuff_fml 4
how rude
fuff_fml 4
I love ur pic
Carbonite 0
altho YDI kinda since he obiously had your car keys, I'd say FYL becouse of the rather disrespectful way your brother did this on. he shoud learn some manners.
quent10 0
it's funny because lolumad
ell_oh_ell 0
why doesn't he go and get a job!
Tenor_RiRi 0
That must SUCK, but atlest it didn't have your paycheck in it and he said: Going to the Bank
black_knight402 0
can somebody answer this question but what is a goon to a goblin?
Brittney_E 0
yes, but if she had a spare key in the car?
Brittney_E 0
black_knight402, that question! D: a goon to a goblin is nothing. question answered [: if only i knew what a goon was....
Sharpie23 7
guys there can be more than one set of keys per car. all of our cars have at least one spare, if not more.
KiwiLime 0
I think you forgot to mention that you share the car with your brother, op. maybe I'm being presumptuous, but why else would your brother have keys to "your" car? still, FYL.
SmylieVyrus 0
OP, u should walk home and then let him get you pregnant for the ultimate FML
bonezowns 0
in fact, how do u leave all these things in the car in the first place?
okieraider71 4
If you've not the backbone to STAND FOR YOURSELF, why should you expect others to do it in your place? Call the police and have him arrested!
michabailey 8
I was going to ask, but others already did: How did he get the keys?
djbrooke12345 0
how did he get your purse???
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I don't know if such is the case with the OP but I know that in my house everyone has access to spare copies of all the car keys in case one of the cars needs to be moved and it's owner is unavailable. The point being that perhaps the OP didn't hand over the keys, maybe the brother had a spare set. As for the why her purse might be in the car, maybe she couldn't bring it in to work. I had a job once where the manager locked everyone out of the break room because of a couple idiots leaving it a mess, so we couldn't use the lockers. He also wouldn't let us keep our purses, coats, or phones with us while we were working so a lot of people had to leave their stuff in their cars or a friend's car. Just saying...
CountLestat 1
we have thieves at my work so everyone leaves their purses/wallets/important stuff, in their cars.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
If this FML went "Today, I lost my keys and had to walk home," everyone would say "YDI for not giving spares to family members." And if it read "Today, a coworker stole my phone, purse, and wallet," everyone would say "YDI for not locking them in your car." *sigh* I love the Internet. :]
immja 0
hahaha
girl14 0
that's ok at hi stag party (hopefully he'll get married soon) take away the liquer. Did that to my brother-gave me 100$ just so I'd show him where I hid the beer
emmabear16 0
lmfao that sucks xD I would think about revenge
adamsauer 0
BS
animerose08 6
thats when I'd call the cops and report both my purse and car stolen. If my brother did that w/o my knowledge, I'd be pissed! I hope you didn't have to walk too far. I hope you kicked his ass when you saw him! LoL
johnnydudeman 0
Did you ever consider his car may have broken down, and he had to borrow hers to do something of vital importance, like picking their father up from the airport? In that case, OP deserves it for giing him her keys, AND forgetting the father. This is a hypothetical situition of course, he's probably just a douche.
animerose08 6
if that were so, the OP's brother should have been smart enough to TELL her that as well as call the cops instead of just taking it and expecting her coworkers to break the news. he still took her car without her knowing!!
johnnydudeman 0
Why should OPs brother call the cops? Sorry it's late, and I don't follow.
kitty5399 0
Sounds like something my brothers would do. @OP Call the cops and send him to jail for theft.
debbster7 18
Your brother is an ass. He at least should have given you some money for a cab.
mebecatie 0
wow op wut a bitch. just hire a midget with herpes to **** him while he sleeps >;D
CodingSquirrel 3
How exactly does one come across a midget with herpes? Are they generally listed in the yellow pages, or do you plan on wandering around asking every midget you see if they have a VD?
TheKingOfHearts 19
I'm open. I am 27 years old and I am 4.3 feet tall. I charge 80$ hourly.
HackerD00d 0
that sucks!!
ilovejeland 0
soo did you walk??? btw you should bring the cops home with you to scare the shitt out of him. then have him arrested..haha
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for working instead of being in the kitchen, making us all some sammiches. YDI for owning a car. YDI for having a brother. YDI for having money, a phone, and whatever else was in your purse, which probably includes condoms to FORNICATE!!! YDI for having a purse. YDI for having a coworker. YDI for hyphenating the word "coworker". I hope you enjoyed your walk. Since you're a fellow American, I'm going to assume you're a Lardo McBlubberball and that you needed to walk.
ZleveL 0
LOL LARDO MCBLUBBERBALL XD
Nena713 0
Don't make that stupid assumption, you're only making an ass out of yourself. I was with you until the whole American part.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
So you agreed with everything before it? 7/8 isn't bad at all.
GROWNsimba 0
all I can say is KARMA :D
Raleigh_bruh 7
Karma? What does karma have to do with this..?
GROWNsimba 0
28- well she must of done something to him...
Raleigh_bruh 7
Eh, not enough info to tell if Op provoked this to happen.
rileykins 0
well then he shall hopefully get karma back. :]
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I'll tell you what karma has to do with this: her brother took her karma, which also had her pursema and phonema.
rileykins 0
ahah you win.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Yeh, that makes sense.