Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
And it vibrates. And it doesn't fart and leave its socks all over the place.
shannon2348 14
First of all does she have to report every purchase she makes? And I hate to tell you this but size has nothing to do with it. It's all in how you use it. ydi
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Comments (25)
Susan Yee 9
I have a few, my husband doesn’t care, because I have higher mojo than him. Talk to her, ask her if she’s satisfied when having sex with you. If not, try something new. My husband doesn’t care if I use a ******** vibe when have sex with him, since less work for him/it makes me easier/faster to reach ******.
spinspinsugar 12
At least she's using a toy and not another man's dick.
Bevis Butthead 4
Guarantee - that's not the reason.
psychgirl123 15
Yawn... that mentality is so annoying. Just because she has a vibrator (that she wasn’t required to tell you she bought) does not mean she doesn’t enjoy having sex with you. Her libido maybe higher than yours, or she wants to use it during intercourse with you (several orifices ya know). Regardless, not a big deal.
icalledhisname 12
Sounds like you guys have major communication issues, and it has nothing to do with the vibrator. Size of a vibrator is irrelevant. It vibrates. Period. If you’re that worried about how she feels about your size, you need to talk to her about it. The size of a penis really doesn’t matter unless it’s too big for a dainty female. But there’s lube for that. Your skill is what matters. You can ask her for tips and go to trusty ol’ Google for sex tips if you’re that worried. And a lot of partners **********. It’s not a big deal. It’s actually pretty healthy and some people need it.
GamerChickxoxo 16
I encourage my partners to get toys and try new kinks. Being jealous of a toy is just pathetic. Just be glad she has sex with you at all,i wouldn't push this issue because shes got your replacement lined up.
Victoria Juan 5
okay. women are allowed to have toys AND still want their man. if you're not having sex, that has nothing to do with the new toy, theres a deeper issue that needs to be addressed. how about grow a spine and ask her if theres anything wrong that needs fixing. chances are there is something that you're not seeing.
J15237 25
Complete bright side of the day. Your wife went out and got a new toy instead of going out to find a bigger dick. She is not cheating on you. Could be a thousand times worse. It is funny though.
interesting33 37
could you incorporate it in your lovemaking? maybe that will help
PhoenixChick 26
Best things about a *****? 1) it's at your command. Need a stress relief real quick? It's down to go. Don't want to touch it for a month? It won't whine. 2) vibration 3) it lasts as long as you do, then you can turn it off 4) portable 5) it doesn't get jealous of your husband and start getting all insecure and blaming intimacy problems on him If she doesn't want to have sex with you it's because something is not working for her having sex with you. The only way the vibrator is related is if she's using it to work out the sexual needs she isn't getting fulfilled because SOMETHING ELSE is keeping her from wanting to **** you.