Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
bubblekitty 1
She should appreciate you trying hard in school. Swedish sounds cool "gurdy gurdy gurdy" - Catherine Tate
snazzy_247 0
She's not Swedish?
Iskaria 0
I have a few friends from Sweden... They do not make THAT noise when they talk. It's all just bad muppet propaganda!
bubblekitty 1
I know. This just reminded me of Catherine Tate in her translation video. Made me lol the way she "translated" in 7 different languages
kareltje 17
Think you're mixing things up with Dutch now ;)
THE_A_TEEN 28
What supportive family. *sarcasm honestly why do families make an effort to bring the moral of their relatives, let alone their kid's? Honestly, thats ****** up.
THE_A_TEEN 28
* morale down
ergo_sum 8
so do I and nor am I swedish. I moved here because it's an amazing place!
Petunia888 13
I wish I lived there. :( Instead, I get stuck with corporate America.
StoryOfTheYear 15
* a
mannen99 3
What the?! Swedish is the best language ever! At least for me since i live in sweden...
morinalexandra 4
Im swedish and its an awesome language! Tycker du har gjort bra!
ItsTheKing 10
I wonder what that means :3?
wiilska 1
"i think you did good!" :)
morinalexandra 4
Google translate? Or är du svensk?
wiilska 1
Svenska. ;)
morinalexandra 4
Bra! Bor du i sverige eller? :)
XxgreymoonxX 8
ah **** what they think, if you were able to master a language in a years time that's impressive :) random girl on fmylife.com is impressed :D
je_suis_fml 11
Jealous much? And just exactly how many languages do any of them speak? Who knows where OP is going in the future to utilize his accomplishments... **** them. Job well done. :)
perdix 31
If it helps you **** one or two of those tall, hot blonde chicks, totally worth it!!! As Charlie Sheen might say, "Duh-USEFUL!" Fluent after studying a language at school for a year at school? Dumheter!
perdix 31
The highest prevalence of blondness in the world is Northern Europe. You're more likely to find natural blondes there than anywhere else, and if what you say is true about dyeing, then there's an exceptional number of what appear to be blondes. OK, if learning Swedish helps you nail three or four brunettes, it wasn't a waste. Or one redhead -- they are maniacs!
kareltje 17
You clearly never have been in Sweden :D
KasaraEm13 12
Now, what you need to do is go to Sweden, find a hot Swedish girlfriend, bring her home, and hold long, meaningful conversations in Swedish with her in front of your family, laugh and smile a lot too. Make out with her for that extra in-yo'-face moment.
EwanSmith 2
home swede home...
KasaraEm13 12
(Computer f-ed up. Damn thing.)