Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
Lasscat 1
Swedish. What the hell are you going to do with that? Unless you plan to pick up some hot swedish chicks, than, that's useful. Other than that? Swedish? That's a waste of money...you parents must be sssooo proud of you.
dmadsen33 9
Wow, swedish is one of the hardest languages ever.. And in one year..? That's is pretty cool man.! Svenska puss fraan mig!
persephone28 15
Swedish can be useful for most germanic languages. Depending on what dialect you can understand Danish, Norwegian, and some of German. really depends on where u live tho.
RAUN 8
Tell them, "De gustibus non est disputandem."
churlss 0
det är jävligt användbart!
bermec 0
Der får du igjen for å lære svensk istedenfor norsk!
Dojan 16
Norwegian is practically a Swedish accent. It's like comparing American English and British English. Although, all Scandinavian languages are pretty useless to be honest.
katerose18 1
It is. When would that ever help you in life?
NoLifePanda 4
You should have learned danish or norwegian. They understand both the other language plus swedish, but swedish people don't understand them. I'm swedish, and I don't get a shit they're talking about. I can't even hear the difference.
I_LostTheGame42 3
If you want to work in Sweden you have to speak perfect swedish, but if you don't it's almost worthless. The more languages you know the better. BTW I live in Sweden
dudetten 7
Coolt att du kan prata svenska! :)