Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
nabs_fml 5
hii I'm swedish dnt be so mean!
Petunia888 13
I love Sweden, even though I've never been there. I've read about them, though, and it seems like they do things better than where I live (IMO). It seems like Sweden is a country that really cares about its inhabitants, rather than running the country like a corporation (like we do :-/). I wish I could speak Swedish, and I'd love to live there. Congrats on learning the language, OP. I'd be curious to know if your mom can speak any other language, or if she can even speak her own language well.
em1nem13 0
They're jealous
bubidood 0
Well what do you expect from a Newfie?
Timmeeh 17
She's not entirely wrong, but for a reason other than she probably intended; in my experience, Swedes almost all speak exceptionally good English.
Skruvis 3
I like that people are learning Swedish, it makes me feel proud of being Swedish. :3
Mannie_G 0
If you can, learn Spanish,that's very useful. And usually everyone learns cuss words 1st so you can cuss them out too!
rexreta 5
Are you ever going to visit Sweden a lot? Or move there? Then it wouldn't be useless. Speaking any language fluently is a good thing though. They should have at least thought of that.
klaraholmin 0
Swedish is awsome! Im impressed at least!
Legendaire_fml 2
I find it really impressing to learn Swedish fluently in one year! Especially since it's really hard to learn! But one thing only, why did you choose to do it? (Also, speaking Swedish means that you will also understand norweigan and danish quite well, and a lot of finish people understand sweidsh why you will be able to communicate with a lot of people! That's really good for an cv!) /Elizabeth