Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML
Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
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Top comments
Trix_Disorder 20
Why weren't you going with her? That's your aunt!
2oc 5
I hope her sister didn't die in somr kind of explosion.
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Comments (105)
Deannie88 6
I hope you have a blast all alone knowing you've probably hurt your moms feelings when she needed you the most!
whosindahouse 9
Aunt's FML: Today, I had my funeral and my niece wasn't there.FML
ImaginaryFoe 1
*FMD
rcgirl2 11
You are supposed to supporting your mother. And that's your aunt too! YDI
rcgirl2 11
To be supporting*
supersmeg12345 10
Yeah seriously why didn't you go to the funeral too? That's your family. Come on now
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well, a funeral should be a celebration of the dead's life, not a sad mourning...but that's my opinion. We all **** up sometimes, though. Don't beat yourself up over it. I just hope you apologized.
redreynard 14
Of course she'll have a blast. Funerals are to die for.
hockeyoceancity 13
Everyone's dying to have their own!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Despite the cost of living, notice how popular it remains. It's deathly popular, isn't it?
ILuv_toaster182 5
Way to go genius. You probably made her cry BEFORE the funeral! and why aren't you going? Lazy.
davidson122 0
To all the people who gae this comment a thumbs Down I hope one of yur relatives dosent come to your funeral. Wait I hope none do
b0ngs 7
The grammar in your comment made me cringe. First off you make zero sense! Second, I I fixed your comment : 'To all the people who gave this comment a thumbs down, I hope one of your relatives won't go to your funeral. Wait; I hope none do. ' There ya go!
everydayFML2121 5
Are you drunk?
ILuv_toaster182 5
XP
purpledrizzle 5
F your mom's life! You really should be going to support your mom and pay respect to your aunt.
dDailydDosage 8
People op referred to his aunt as "my mothers sister", that tells me he didn't have a close relationship with her before she died. But you could have gone in the selfless act of comforting your mother. As for the slip of the mouth, it's okay. Happens to everyone. :)
tj4234 36
*her *she
olpally 33
Stupidity at its finest right here... Nice going op... I hope you apologized for your stupidity.