Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HairyPunisher 27
I wonder if Bella did that. It would explain why Edward Cullen avoided sex with her for so long.
perdix 31
Put some flour and some butter in your pants. It won't cure anything, but garlic bread you'll make will be delicious!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
HairyPunisher 27
I wonder if Bella did that. It would explain why Edward Cullen avoided sex with her for so long.
lorenzoman77 7
Oh, that comment is just gold. Bravo to you sir, *applause.
sigrak0 10
#1 Don't bring twilight here, it's gay.
HairyPunisher 27
Thanks 19. I hope I made the first comment memorable. ;-)
theslimshadylp 6
Great comment I hate twilight
KiddNYC1O 22
That comment was worthy of ass-kissing. Beautiful.
HairyPunisher 27
I can't stand Twilight either. I hate it when people get all whiny and say "How can you know Twilight sucks if you haven't read it?" Well I did read the books solely so I can say they suck. I wish I could have the month of my life I spent on the four books back. But back to the FML, yeah ewww, what was OP thinking?
HelloGuys 4
I actually think twilight is a good movie & imma guy
R3TROxLOV3 32
67, There's really no point in doing something if you're going to go into it already determined to have a terrible time. Once you do that, it won't Matter if what you were doing was actually enjoyable, you're just going to ignore the good parts and focus on the bad. Never go into something expecting to hate it, because if you expect to hate it, you usually will, even if it's actually not so bad.
HairyPunisher 27
77, you're absolutely right. I actually tried editing my last comment to clarify. I gave the books a chance and didn't go into them with a "these books will suck" attitude. There were elements I did like but it was just overshadowed by what I viewed to be sexism if you read between the lines of the plotlines of all four books. I respect anyone's opinion on the books, I was simply stating my own. And word to the wise, baking soda panties would absorb the yeast infection.
axelrave 3
Good for you. I'm so glad we know that HelloGuys loves twilight AND is a guy. Thanks.
ALpein 0
This statement is false because that only applies to vampires. Not sparkling posers. But in all seriousness, Twilight is just all around a bad read. She graduated college in Literature and used the word "Handsomer." Now, I could point at the Editors for not catching her mistakes (which they should have so it's half their faults) but she should know better.
Rin_deviluke 3
Final someone that has not fallen pray to the curse!
citymayer 7
It took you a month to read all four books? It took me less than a week... Idk what this says about either of us...
HairyPunisher 27
I was working 40 hours a week and was a full time student. I had too many things going on to just dedicate all my time to Stephanie Meyers lol
dissention 4
No, I'm pretty sure the fact that he is gay is why it took so long.
ppl2ppl 4
...what?
HairyPunisher 27
154, What do you need help understanding?
ChelsiiBabee 5
It took me a year and a half for the first two, I haven't finished the third. -.-"
yomama97 5
I favorited this just for the first comment. Well done.
rebellionwars 11
You're clearly ignorant cause that's not the reason.
kut17 11
Well, I think it's safe to say I'll never eat garlic again.
MURIKKA 11
Yup. This adds a whole new meaning to the term eating pu-... You know what, never mind.
onlychildFTW 34
Is this an actual myth? I've never heard of this one.
perdix 31
Put some flour and some butter in your pants. It won't cure anything, but garlic bread you'll make will be delicious!
thundergirl_fml 2
I just threw up a little
xxblmpknxx 10
I just came a little
Rowdey 10
Only a little? (Both of you)
Trisha_aus 15
Good thing I was in the bathroom while reading this..
Irishgypsy 2
Great, now I want garlic bread and marinara sauce.
llamafish 25
Ooh yum, the monthly special.
cheekyterier 13
thank you. for that lovely mental picture...
lans4 1
The marinara sauce must be a monthly special.
b0ngs 7
I was doing ok until I read 46's comment. *gag*
skittihorse 8
Plus, she'll already have the yeast to make the bread
Stoopid_life 2
Yes! And we could name it 'just a little some thing I made in my pants',and on the ad...well that's getting a little too weird :/
rainbowkissies 14
89... that was the point of the original comment.
skittihorse 8
108- sorry I fail so hard at life
Hesitantalien 17
#63 i think i just vomited in my mouth
flutter4 7
How much garlic did you use for the smell to be that strong?
everydayFML2121 5
VAGINAS ARE EVIL!
UsernameHere234 13
Typically I think they recommend using a clove. And 84, without ******'s none of us would be around. Crazy right? Have your parents not given you the "where do babies come from" speech yet?
Hollzbananza 15
91's comment goes so well with his picture.
anonymous100000 17
you could just be a normal person and tell her and go to the doctor for some legitimate aid...idiot
jmcgirl 3
Idiot. Go to the chemist.
Drigr 9
I'm probably just some ignorant american but... is "chemist" some sort of slang for pharmacist or something? You're not the first to say it.
GovernorGeneral 8
Ya i think in British they say chemist instead of pharmacist. I remember it from somehwere but i forget where. Dx
simplylost643 0
#22- Yes, yes it is.
Kinder93_fml 3
Eh, we say both chemist and pharmacist, both are acceptable really. Shops themselves may have "Chemist" or "Pharmacist" on the title of the shop.
BabySparkle1 15
In Australia we say both chemist and pharmacist, doesn't really matter which one they are both the same.
lenluigi 6
well at least you didn't EAT the garlic. geez that would of been weird....
csi_fml 19
Since when does garlic cure yeast infections?
Rose1357 3
I know?!?! That's disgusting!
NippleHead 0
Yogurt cures them too.
courtneyann211 10
42- it is a topical remedy. As well as plain Greek yogurt. Both are recommended to pregnant women who have a yeast infection since there aren't many meds that are safe for them to use.
GothicAngel17 24
Sometimes natural remedies are a last resort for women with yeast infections. The yeast can become immune to the various anti-fungal treatments. And perhaps OP is pregnant, which can mean constant, painful and very bad yeast infections, where the only treatment is the canesten internal cream, which only makes it go away for a little while. In that case I really wouldn't blame OP for turning to natural remedies.
ballbearing 10
It sounds awful but literally put a peeled garlic clove in the ****** overnight and it will cure a yeast infection.
flutter4 7
It's a home remedy to cure them
Life_is_FML 22
I had a yeast infection once when I was younger. Pure, vicious agony. You can't do anything because if the pain. If you are pregnant, you can't use a lot of medicines so I don't blame her for trying a home remedy. Garlic is supposed to work
ifuckmonsters 5
Let's hope there aren't any vampires in your family.
RobinKCS 9
Even if there were vampires in her family, what would they be doing down there? O.o
ifuckmonsters 5
Who knows, vampire families are weird.
42istheanswer 27
80- based on your user name, you're speaking from experience.
damnu 3
It's a funniest area to suck the blood, at least the victim dies happy.
DollyDope 17
And just what did you do with all of this garlic?
baseballguy06 0
dayum