Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, my job interview got canceled. I later found out it's because my sister got the brilliant idea to go talk to the manager to "advocate" for me, and they thought I put her up to it. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
joanleesimone 2
See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!
kingdutchhy 19
Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...
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Comments (82)
lyn87 7
She doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed....
Fatty182 2
You cant fix stupid.
mintlegendary 14
Thank you for sharing. That cracked me up.
wierdDreams 10
Girls like those, give opportunity to stereotyping people to give all girls a bad name
RayRey009 5
Horse-******, that's a new one. Well, let her fail. Some people only learn the hard way.
krray 7
A resume like hers doesn't even get saved or looked at. Certainly not hired. Ever. Her resume would very quickly end up in the shredder. No questions asked.
voltroz 18
then let her rot in unemployment
falsecut 12
Let her be ignorant and jobless, then.
deviousangel89 13
Wow, rude much! Don't help her if she's going to treat you like that...