Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, my job interview got canceled. I later found out it's because my sister got the brilliant idea to go talk to the manager to "advocate" for me, and they thought I put her up to it. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
joanleesimone 2
See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!
kingdutchhy 19
Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...
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Comments (82)
kingdutchhy 19
Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...
thefmlman2011 37
If it's annoying you too much, you should help and correct it.
ohjoy15 33
Why?... Forget it. Can only bring the horse to the water, can't make it drink.
Rkikkas9713 25
We need to keep OP away from horses though.
hznja 22
Obviously, the people who aren't offering her jobs aren't clueless horse-*******!
joanleesimone 2
See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!
lunar999 23
You have to **** horses to get benefits in America?
iLike2Teabag 27
No. You can also choose to **** Ray J. I hear you can get insanely rich by ******* Ray J.
martin8337 36
Or living in a van, down by the river.
incoherentrmblr 22
She could do inter-species erotica to avoid unemployment...
Gillett 23
**** her.
Rosebudx 32
Are you saying OP's sister is a horse? Because that might be an alternative reason for the lack of job offers.
ironmany_fml 23
well if you incest
Cass_x 22
Wow, she's ungrateful.. You tried to help, it isn't your fault she won't accept the help you gave her.
thejonac 21
if this is what you get for trying, don't even bother. she's gotta learn the hard way then
rnarshmallow 21
What is "Comic Sans"
SeanLewis 17
It's a type of font which is a big no-no to be used in formal letters.
604 11
It's a font. One that should never be used for anything professional. I'm not even sure what practical application it has; unless you're trying to come across as silly and annoying or something.
MrBoredomioo 18
A font that is supposed to look like comic book lettering. However, it is terrible.
chinaski7628 32
I have a friend who's an elementary school teacher and she uses it a lot-- especially when her first graders are tracing or practicing letters. She says its the font closest to what printing looks like. So it's not totally useless...
shay_serendipity 29
Yeah, so basically Comic Sans is a font never to be used outside of elementary school, and especially not a font to be used on formal things like resumes.
DjangoFan 5
Comic Sans is a good font for people with dyslexia. The letters are easier to read.
Steffi3 40
Aaaand that might be another reason..
fallen_dragonkin 12
obviously if your sister had any clue how to write professional looking resumes, she wouldn't do such a dreadful one for herself, perhaps she doesn't really want a job and that's why she refused advice