Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, my job interview got canceled. I later found out it's because my sister got the brilliant idea to go talk to the manager to "advocate" for me, and they thought I put her up to it. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
joanleesimone 2
See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!
kingdutchhy 19
Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...
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Comments (82)
mistress_paz 30
No good deed goes unpunished, eh? It was nice of you to help her but no need to subject yourself to abuse. She may eventually out that you were right. Needless to say, you deserve an apology.
dark_angel4121 12
Stop helping her then. Once it clicks that's you're right, she'll shut up and do as you say.
Joshawott 21
So what your sister is saying, is that she's unemployed and you're doing Sarah Jessica Parker, a famous actress with money? Neat.
simsgirlgem 25
Well OP after that you could go the route of Screw her if she's gonna be rude I'm not gonna help or go the hey you're a [insert job your sister wants here] can you look at her resume and tell her why she might not be getting a job route me I be the first one no one likes getting rude comments
JacobRSE 18
It's better off she doesn't get a job, because that way no one has to deal with her.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
A job (if she could keep it long with that attitude) could actually do her a lot of good to learn discipline & responsibility.
Kramer1998 20
My sister is the same, if you try to help her in anyway she'll be a bitch about it
Rozeyyy 25
Well..her loss...
saffy66 34
Tell her you'll shut up when she can spell 'clueless horse-******' flawlessly.
philipjfry82 1
She just doesn't want a job, she passes out resumes because she wants your parents to think she wants a job that's all it is.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
FYL…unless you really HAVE been ******* horses; in which case, YDI.