Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, my job interview got canceled. I later found out it's because my sister got the brilliant idea to go talk to the manager to "advocate" for me, and they thought I put her up to it. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
joanleesimone 2
See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!
kingdutchhy 19
Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...
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Comments (82)
anniemeece 23
Are there really people that exist who think that using Comic Sans and TXT language on a resume will get them a job?! F all of our L.
code_zombie 4
My uncle works in the Computer Science(CS) industry (and hires programmers). He told me that about half the resumes were complete crap and had misspellings, TXT talk, or the application was obviously written by someone else. The other half he said were reasonably good.(Too bad some applicants brought friends to their interviews, or didn't know a thing about programming)
ali282h 15
You might want to add her attitude to the résumé as a reason.
BoundBySpace 19
If she uses txt language then she's probably too young to work.. I'm assuming/ hoping she just turned 16..
ksks1234 33
I had a job at 16. It is definitely not too young to work.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
16 is the optimal age to start working. It's also typically the first year you're legally able to work at a lot of places. That's when I started, & it helps to instill responsibility & discipline. So sounds like OP's sister really needs it.
ChoolyBooly 32
That is when I started working and I have to say that it really helps a teen grow up and be responsible. It also helps a child realize that they won't be taken care of by others in the very near future.....time to learn independence and the importance of taking responsibility for your existence.
morgasshk 14
No clue why this is downvoted (unless by other txt speak in resume using teens feeling butthurt). Fair point.
SeanLewis 17
That's quite illogical, why would she think you'd want to get it on with her? That's incest.
KitchKraft 21
Hurry and kill her before she can reproduce
CBOokami 13
I guess she should talk to clue-full horse-******* then!
SauceySarah 30
I can overlook the text language and typos, but comic sans?! Really?! yikes.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
HOW could you overlook those...?
bluefairy_fml 24
Some people need to face challenges on their own in order to grow up.
kutemotoka 15
Omg just reading this, makes me angry. Why so sisters NEVER appreciate hell?! I feel like slapping mine for it! And yet I help her. God damn. Ungrateful piece of shit!
abNormal62 23
She is step above posting an ad on Kijiji or in weekly shopping news flyers advising employers she is looking for work and to call her ASAP. Especially impressive are the people who indicate they won't get out of bed for minimum wage job must have benefits and a good vacation package and their education barely qualifies them for part-time labor intensive work