Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Checker 20
Check again...?
irimalovecheer98 5
Lol, I feel bad for your son
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
alissatastic 8
That sucks, well I guess you better get comfy cause your little boy is probably gonna be sleeping in your bed for awhile! :p
saIty 17
If you really wanted to, tell him if he doesn't behave the monster will get him. It might be mean but hey, it's good parenting.... Kind of...
scoop15928 4
Wow next you'll discover that the monster in the closet is really a raccoon waiting to scratch your face up.
ncvane 5
First off, I am sorry you got attacked. That being said, this was THE FUNNIEST thing I have read in a long time! I hope you heal well.Thanks for the laugh.
Right_Click 12
You must be extremely sheltered if you find a cat attacking someone's face "the funniest thing you have read in a long time."
HatefulPilot 0
I fly tree-top level.. Nothing sheltered about me. And yeah, I find it ridiculously hilarious.
1badjuju 6
You couldn't stage this to happen any more perfectly...it is hilarious if you think about how everything played out just right. Now he is going to grow up believing whole heatedly in monsters under the bed. This story will be told for generations!
Sextonator 9
Awww, sucks for you! I hope you can find a way to settle his fear.
Isoldael 27
I bet the cat overheard the conversation and just got under that bed to undermine your authority. (yes, it's clearly late and I'm not thinking straight anymore)
Okayitwasme 0
Put his bed on the floor!
21jason 9
You guys should be like step brothers and make bunk-beds together for more room for activities
bizarre_ftw 22
Blame it on the cat
IndigoFuckYou 9
Just stop commenting. We don't like you here.
cheefer 0
65, because you're such a bag of smashed assholes and you suck, nobody likes you either. Nikki sixx sucks!!
chels1994 11
that was just some awful timing