Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
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Top comments
Checker 20
Check again...?
irimalovecheer98 5
Lol, I feel bad for your son
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Comments (105)
mookieisrad 0
That's what you get for owning a cat YDI
jackien1 6
no offense, but that's totally hilarious.
anmks 0
first let me say sorry about your face second put a night light in his room depending on the childs age then let him know there wasnt a monster just the cat
notwedge 0
Congratulations to your cat on its decisive victory.
cheefer 0
I guess you're the authority on checking or checkering?
kyo611537 0
damn nature you scary
kyo611537 0
damn nature you scary
Mrdw 2
That is one of the funnier FMLs I have read! Good luck with that!
bubo_fml 11
"Son, there's some mean pussy under there!" Now, the little bollocks won't even come out from underneath the bed!
MrBrightsidexvi 6
That sounds like a scene from boogiman