Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
missyj0 12
it was a mistake but I don't blame him for getting turned off.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
....the dead goldfish? The drugs? Oh, wait. That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
zuelhater 7
How romantic!;)
LadySigyn 17
There is always next time!
Cinderella_Man 10
NOW who needs to learn to put the lid down!
Hodges82 9
Epic FAIL. Let's see how long it takes him to put out.
123man 11
The size of your poo made him insecure because if reminded him of the inadequate size of his penis. You should lie and tell him that size doesn't matter.
UsernameHere234 13
Size (as in length) does not actually matter because a woman's ****** has nerves only up to 4 inches deep (approx the avg sized penis). Girth however does matter.
KiddNYC1O 22
106- Some women like pain!
nyxlovexgoddess 1
I'm pretty sure I have nerves more than 4inches in. I defenitely feels like it...
mzmush 2
Good thing you didn't get dumped
blondecat 6
LOL
99megster 15
Well, the smell could've been masked with some bathroom spray, but the log... He probably would've still been turned off. You gotta remember to flush, Op!
captainburke 5
That sucks! Why do you always have to shit at the worst times??
ganjaone 2
It wouldn't matter to me. All shit smells bad.
xxxSANAxxx 0
aw :( atleast you tried? :D