Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
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Top comments
missyj0 12
it was a mistake but I don't blame him for getting turned off.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
....the dead goldfish? The drugs? Oh, wait. That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it...
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Comments (100)
jjmiller1001 17
Your an idiot!
saturnsonic 3
you're my kind of girl ;-)
eccentrix 12
Isn't that like forgetting to turn your car off after you park it?
PandaSpots 10
You could have waited till the smell died down.
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Let me guess, you forgot to flush the tub! Man, that happens to me all the time!!!
herrerwl 2
What grosses me out was that you were both going to sit in the tub with your feces. You're supposed to wash yourself prior to showering.
cherry72 13
This FML doesn't sound like it was written by a female. "Dump" really??? I don't know of any of my female friends that would say that. Either not a female or VERY Low Class. IMO. And besides everyone knows girls don't poop LOL.
Leslier_fml 4
Maybe he also realized you didnt even rinsed off after taking a dump so he didn't wanna be sitting in shitty water with you.
ellytoad 13
It probably wouldn't have mattered if you'd flushed or not. The turn-off smell would still be there. Your very need to take a dump was the death knell to your whole evening. Better luck next time.
nahbean13 3
Your story is suspicious; everyone knows girls don't poop.