Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NotYourOrdinary7 6
If he doesn't want you to become pregnant, some sort of contraception should have been used.
Moep20 24
I am sorry that you have such a dumb boyfriend D: Try explaining it to him with pictures maybe? Let him see for himself that there are two openings?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (319)
eash 10
Peeing after sex can help reduce the risk the of of a UTI though. So it's good to pee after sex
flashback_fml 14
Wow just wow
n00b4liciou5 10
There are two holes?!!
JessMaricle 5
Even tho he is stupid for saying that, my doctor did tell me (I am 28 weeks pregnant so it was my baby doctor) that peeing after intercourse does lower ur pregnancy chances but more so helps get all the bacteria out so u don't get a uti or bladder infection.
sleepyglowstar 32
Urine does kill sperm though.... Jus sayin'
sartrow 8
too funny : ()
fantasyworld 39
Get him an anatomy book for Christmas.
kenyrabit 25
But...you do pee out of your ******.
rocker_chick23 27
No we don't, dumbass. Our urethra is above the vaginal opening. Please don't breed
RandomRaveDude 10
I'm really sorry, but they never went over this in health... but where exactly do girls pee out of?
fantasyworld 39
We pee out of our urethra which is above the vaginal opening.
WalkingWhovian 11
THIS is why sex ed is so important in schools.