Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that no, my period arriving several days late doesn't mean I have AIDS. FML
Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
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Top comments
_whyme_o 12
Oh, tampons... The ultimate mystery for men.
Welshite 40
Ask him what his excuse for using extra small condoms is.
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Comments (61)
TheBelt 19
Maybe it's time you sit down with him and talk about how periods work.
pizzafrommars 14
As a male, I didn't realize there were sizes.
TheyKilledKemmy 25
They aren't sizes, just different absorbency levels
princesspeachxox 18
But the absorbency levels make for a larger sized tampon
TheMathMajor 26
(For the benefit of men out there who are curious) Women are different and some women will have a heavy flow while others will have a light flow. Or the same woman can have heavy flow one day and lighter flow the next. You don't want to use a tampon that is too absorbent for your flow because it's more likely to cause toxic shock syndrome (caused when bacteria starts to grow on the tampon). Hence the different tampon absorbencies. They usually sell light, regular, and super absorbent tampons. All tampons are smaller than your average penis, though, so I have no idea why OP's boyfriend would think that.
AMcM_fml 21
on behalf of a lot of guys thank you. I wasn't willing to Google that....
CountedTo10 9
on a related note OP: have you considered menstrual cups rather than tampons? if your flow is really heavy they can be helpful and also cheaper in the long run
domolovesyoshi 33
That is actually really good advice, I don't understand why you're being down voted.
Enslaved 38
I use both. I prefer the menstrual cup but not on my heavier days. Changing them can be super messy! Especially when you have to insert your finger up your ****** to retrieve it vs just pulling on a single string.
CountedTo10 9
I've just personally never liked tampons, kinda overly drying if you get me....only used my cup for one cycle but it's great although I don't have the heaviest flow ever...
TheMathMajor 26
I'd really like to get a cup. You only have to empty them twice a day right? Plus there's less waste and it's less expensive in the long run.
solarsanteria 15
A menstrual cup??? That's a thing? o.o
CountedTo10 9
#81 - you can wear it up to 12 hours but sometimes you have to wear it less if you have a heavy flow
CountedTo10 9
yeah there's a brand (might be RubyCup not sure) that donates a cup for every one bought to girls in the developing world :)
SheepShoop_fml 20
Cups are a godsend. So many benefits. Always best to shop around, but I like that Sckoon has different sizes (and colors). Would recommend to all period havers.
CountedTo10 9
Yeah I'm using a yuuki cup but that was after I looked around. There's a girl on YouTube "Precious Stars Pads" and she has plenty of information about period related health and products :)
ziggysmommy201 10
How do those work????
mnshdw818 3
Why does he know (or care) what size tampons you use? I've been married for 13 years and my husband has no clue about brand or size of my feminine plumbing products. I prefer to keep a bit of mystery alive.
boating_guy 33
And this is why men know nothing, yet get shat on for not knowing anything ?
HeavilySaid8ed 9
So you reply in one comment the contradict yourself in another? Make up your mind woman... I mean man.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Just like you probably know what size condom he uses... I'm sure you don't keep your tampons under lock and key (and if you do that's ******* weird) so more than likely he's probably seen them around. I get the whole 'mystery' thing but it's one thing to see you put them in and another to know you use them.
mnshdw818 3
There's a big difference between plain old ignorance of women's products and accusing your gf of cheating due to her product selection. If he doesn't understand the meaning, he should not jump to erroneous conclusions.
mnshdw818 3
I would have no idea what size condom he wears. Until this moment, I had no idea there were sizes for condoms. Lol! I don't keep anything under lock and key, but my husband doesn't study the packaging or inspect my tampons. Seeing them under the sink is one thing, but memorizing them is another.
Mynamewontfi 40
#47 I might sound like an asshole, but how can you not know there are different sizes of condoms? Especially when you've been married for 13 years, meaning you're old enough to know about that stuff.
vampemu 16
#47 Fairly sure condoms don't have sizes everywhere. Never seen sized ones in England
DoomedGemini 38
I find it kind of stupid that people don't want men to know about periods. What about if you have a daughter and you can't be contacted? Make a freakin diaper? It's sooo much easier if they are knowledgable out it, and if they are mature they won't flip out over it.
DoomedGemini 38
Also how can there not be different condom sizes? I am fairly certain any adult, probably even teenager, knows there are penis of different sizes...
mnshdw818 3
#83- After 13 years of marriage and three children, we have no need for condoms. I have never purchased condoms, thus I had no clue about sizes. It makes sense there would be sizes, but I've never even thought about it before since I have no need for them. Old enough to know, but never needed them.
boating_guy 33
Men can understand anything easily. However the things we best understand are the things that no one ever explains to us /s
burnieblue 2
It's not your fault you have a heavy flow and a wide set ******. #MeanGirls
MizzCarrieBaby 12
I was waiting for this
jbtheone_fml 5
Haha, *****
annie_zoo 27
come on now, don't be the ignorant dick.
Corey122726 17
Best thing I've found when I broke my nose. Shoved a tampon up there until it finally stopped bleeding. Quite interesting story
CandyApple88 13
movies like "Blended" don't help either. Virgin daughter uses the minis and woman behind counter says she needs to strap 6 together....
katydid91 31
They actually do use over sized tampon like objects in emergency rooms to stop nose bleeds. My sister had a massive nosebleed one day at work and that's what they used to pack her nose. They're called Rino Rockets.