Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML
Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
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Top comments
Seabass_Chan 33
Teach him. People stay awful at things because others don't show them how to improve.
BantasaurusRex 13
Aww chin up, it can only get better.
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Comments (51)
Soverain 15
Look at it this way. Teach him how to be a good kisser, now you have he man of your dreams and he's good at making out with you.
Debauchery7 17
Was he an octopus O.o
dblogic 19
I've suffered a similar fate...I guy I once dated kisses me like he was trying to gnaw my face off LOL! The next morning my mouth was red & raw, it was awful. I was too chicken to talk to him about it & avoided him for weeks but he was relentless. I broke it to him & he appreciated that I was honest with him. I had already met someone else by that point so I didn't go back out with him...but now I wish I would have told him right away & given him a second chance. So don't be chicken OP!! Tell him you'd like to be kissed a different way & have fun getting to dreamy kissing :-)
Calingaladha 21
I hope, for your sake, that you don't take a human anatomy course.
snackerattacker 11
I get the reference
lallala_fml 2
hickey on the chin is pretty bad. i had a guy who was a " sex god" in his eyes and bragged about taking a lot of girls virginity. when he kissed he would stick his tongue in your mouth and drool. now i know why virgins sleep with him.
Redgy22 26
You mean "ex man of my dreams" right? Dump him. There's no hope for your relationship after that happens. I mean, who does he think he is, kissing you incorrectly??? The nerve! You deserve better! !!! Seriously, just tell him how you like to be kissed & how excited you get when he does this or that. Ask him how he likes he things to be done. It's really not that big of a deal. If it turns out he can't handle the critique or doesn't care about your wants, then I stand by the first part of this statement.
bwup 15
Well this worries me a bit
Omniprism 15
You can teach him.
nameisname 12
If that changes how you feel about him maybe you don't deserve to be happy
honestjane 22
Wasn't this in an old "Sex and the City" episode?