Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
What are you worth? Four, maybe five tickets? All joking aside... Those rides last at least two minutes. Not thirty seconds.
survivalism 0
Your girlfriend's awesome.
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Comments (110)
youaresofucked 0
YDI for cumming after barely getting your pants off :/
abouttofly 12
I don't get this. You complain that your girlfriend doesn't enjoy sex, yet it's your fault that she doesn't. Maybe you should try making it more enjoyable for her.
saailaway 0
ur the stupidest dumb shit
freelove_fml 2
He complains about his GF being a rude bitch and spilling out private stuff on a complete stranger. This shows lack of respect and she definitely deserves a dump.
jonny2x4 0
Ouch! SERVED!!!!!!!
BLNovelist 0
Wow, what a bitch. If I were you, I'd have a talk with her and if she doesn't apologize, dump her.
Starchild21 3
for all we know maybe they were arguing before that i dont know of any girl that would do something like that out of the blue unless hes premature, his "unsatisfying" actions point to him not paying attention to his girl's body language and emotions
iSmellNice 2
YDI for lasting only 30 seconds
14hatemachine 2
speedy gonzales ; ]
Calaura9 0
YDI for not wearing condoms.
BB14_fml 0
That doesn't even make sense....
AnnaSeptic 0
Supreme Scream was awesome. I rode that shit nine times in a row. Too bad your girlfriend can't do that.
calamari 0
FYL? She's just clever, get over it.
rukiafujioka 0
Hahaha! PWNED. Your girlfriend is awesome!