Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
What are you worth? Four, maybe five tickets? All joking aside... Those rides last at least two minutes. Not thirty seconds.
survivalism 0
Your girlfriend's awesome.
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Comments (110)
FlaminYawn 0
damn that sucks. For every ****** a guy has, he should give his girl at least 3...
miki1 0
bull shit
star_ver 0
Knotts Berry Farm and Supreme Scream are awesome. Work on your stamina dude, seriously.
pop2it 5
hottie
seizaipao 0
OMG! i have the same exact problem with you, dude. if you know how to cure this, could you tell me, cuz it'll be a great help
fearlesstiger98 0
Jack off. Aaaa lot!!! In the shower, in the car, before bed... whenever you have time. That's what my bf did. And now he's a beast.
picturetaker 0
haha win
NormanRider14 0
XD wow u dissapoint her dude. PWNED
xEmGai 0
ROFLMAO; your girlfriend is funny XDD
Alexgoesfml 3
HAHAHAHA! Your girlfriend is hilarious, get a sense of humour!
firepowahhx90 0
You know what would be even funnier? If the ride attendent whispered into you're girlfriends ear and said " Well I can make it last 30 MINUTES *wink*"
daemonsparta 16
and then op beats his ass for hitting on his girl
visage 0
lol, learn to screw!
ZiggyMorrison 0
Jack off before ******* her dumbass hell in your case jack off twice before and most guys first shot is no more than like 4 minutes why cant you go again after the first time?
Princesschronic 0
I've never heard of that... My boyfriend can last for ever and he doesn't have to beat it