Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
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Top comments
androiddestroya 7
you have a pet pig!? lucky!!!!! :D
moonlight970 0
You need to tell her. The sooner the better.
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Comments (111)
meganseesstars 9
i would um... not tell her. as for your pig, it didnt know any better. my rabbit has a fetish for eating paper towels. i think there's something wrong with him,
thebeautybleeds 17
Don't. Am I a jackass for saying that?
VeganVampyre 27
yup
Epsilonyx 15
Lose the pork. You live in Washington.
lalala2589 0
There's some pretty country parts of Washington actually.
PapSmearNinja 4
dont tell her... deny everything...who keeps a pig as a pet? whats wrong with you... maybe get a cat you idiot
hyden121 2
Tell her and pay up... Sucks but is the right thing to do.
hwp123 0
Ask someone to take care of your pig tell her you gave your pig to someone and whala u r a dirty liar
Brool_Story_Co 17
Your sentence was fine until you went retarded in the last 6 words
hwp123 0
Yeah I know
hwp123 0
That or say you have a prize winning pig who can only survive off of prize winning flowers
Salkadi 9
Your neighbor has put some serious effort into trying to win only $300
coltsrock37 15
Find the seven magic dragonballs and wish for her award winning graden back by the time judges arrive
sarahmcgeee 5
honestly; how is this am FML? a pig ate some flowers. whopdie frikin doo
Glitterhinoceros 14
It's a FML because the pig ate the NEIGHBORS flowers, which did not belong to OP. Also, they were award winning, and the judges were suppose to come look at them, but they cant now because the pig ate them...