Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
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Top comments
androiddestroya 7
you have a pet pig!? lucky!!!!! :D
moonlight970 0
You need to tell her. The sooner the better.
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Comments (111)
Ldesu 0
Something tells me you're going to need to keep $300 for a later date.
Instantfilm 2
I bet OP has a teacup pig which only grow to about 40 pounds. Still not a great pet though hard to train
aguin8 0
Yes, because you know so much more about OP's pets as they do themselves.
faithxoxox 1
Teacup pigs are cute.
VeganVampyre 27
I've actually heard that pigs are supposed to be easier to train than dogs and cats...
ihazpancakemix 1
it says " my potbellied pig " in the FML .... l2read k thx :)
shorty6823 28
My pigs were a lot easier to train than my dog.
imaberry95 0
Set fire to the garden and act like the grass caught fire. Or tell her a bunch of rabbits and other infestations came through.
BoredUnicorn 6
Smart
IndiRae 9
Baby rabbits. That shuffle.
mintcar 10
Award winning flower gardens and pet pigs? Where do you live? Sounds pretty nifty.
Carpy 8
*says in a country hick voice* Sounds like y'all live down'air ina backwoods uh Kentucky wit dem slop pigs 'roun 'dair.
BeastNerd 3
I... I think it's trying to communicate..
koe4 0
no its obviously slowly dying and the noises the come from it are screams and garggles of agony and its feces violently evacutating the anus.
VeganVampyre 27
All I caught was something about too much inbreeding...
mrahhhhh 21
Some Pig. Those 2 words are actually a reference to something famous with pigs in it. It's really cryptic so plus 4 internets to the first to get it.
gertrude7 9
Charlotte's Web.
mrahhhhh 21
Dang, that was quick. Four internets to you, gertrude7. :D
karagarren 8
lots of people know that. I don't read very much but it even hit me right off the bat.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's really not that "cryptic."
eatmyshortssss1 8
A garden can't give you the love a pot-bellied pig can. I say you win.
aguin8 0
Someone's in a mess...
lajaynay 15
Don't tell her. Let her think something else's happened to it. But she put 3 years into a garden to win only $300? What kind of shit is that??
SadinSherman 16
Tell your neighbor you are sorry and offer to pay for the damages
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Hide the pig your neighbor might want bacon when she finds out.